Stained Glass Eyes and Colorful Tears

26

Things have changed a lot in the last several days. After Tony yelled at me for not telling him about my pregnancy, we both realized that we had to sit down with one another and talk everything through. So, that's exactly what we did. We talked about Anna and everything that led up to it. We talked about Texas, we talked about the baby, we talked about problems that we didn't realize were problems at first. Then, once everything was said and done, we talked about our future and where it was going - and if we even had one together.

Both Tony and I came to the conclusion that we wanted a future together. We want to raise the baby together, to live together, to be ourselves again. Tony suggested that before we start with our entire lives, we start with a date again. A first date for our new future. I agreed, of course, which leads us to where we currently are. 

"This is where we went for our first date." I say to Tony as we sit down across from one another.

He smiles sweetly at me. "I thought you'd like a do over of us."

"I don't."

He raises an eyebrow. "No?"

I shake my head.

"Why not?" he asks.

"A do over means we don't have what we currently do, that we aren't who we are." I explain to him. "I like who we've become."

"Even-"

"No." I say, cutting him off before he can go further. "But I've been talking to Jaime about ...everything" I say shooting him an awkward look. "And he's had some good points."

"Like what?"

I take a deep breath in and glance around. Somehow, we always find ourselves having these talks when we're out in public rather than in the privacy of our own home. We might as well bring flashcards with our backstory on them to hand out for eavesdropping strangers at this point. 

Regardless of how I feel about having people overhear me, I continue with our talk.

"I ...I need to let go of what happened. Obviously, I could never forget it, but I can't keep punishing you for the rest of our lives about it either. You said it was a mistake-"

"And it was. And I swear it'll never happen ever again." 

"I know." I say with a small smile. "And I need to start trusting that, especially now that it's not just you and I in this situation."

Instinctively Tony glances down to my tummy that's just visible against the table. A smile spreads over his face as he gazes at where his baby is inside me.

"Do you have any appointments coming up? I'd like to go."

I've already told Tony that I've gone to a couple of appointments on my own already which upset him because he really wish he had been there for it. I didn't tell him that I heard our babies heartbeat or that I've seen the ultrasound and been shown all the little parts of our baby, like the head and the feet and such. I want him to experience that firsthand for himself.

"I have a checkup in three weeks. You're welcome to come if you want."

Tony nods at me eagerly. "I want to. Are you taking any birthing classes?"

"Someone's been studying." I say with a laugh. "Yeah, I'm going to start them next month, though."

"Can I come?"

"If you want to, yeah."

"I want to." he says. "I also don't want you to think that I'm just in this for the baby, just so you know. I'm in it for you, I've always been in it for you."

"Except for when you found out that Jaime was my brother." I say with a teasing smile.

He grins at me in response. "Can you really blame me for that one?"

I don't even consider it. "Yes."

Tony just rolls his eyes at me, but I see the way that his eyes crinkle up at the sides like they do when he laughs. 

"So, what's new with you?" Tony asks me. "Are you working since you came back?"

"Nope. I figured I have a rich husband so I don't need to work right now."

"Is that so?"

"Yep. He's also paying for this supper."

"So, I'm just a wallet to you?"

"No, of course not." I say. "You're also a pretty face."

Tony tells me to shut up, however I know he enjoys the things I say to him. When we first started dating he told me that he liked me because he never knew what I was going to say or do next and that I often caught him off-guard. It's nice to see that some things never change.

The rest of the date goes really good, like surprisingly good. We spend two hours at the restaurant just catching up on one another's life. I don't have much to say, Tony was with me in Texas and saw my very unexciting life. Tony doesn't have much going on either, they finished their new album so he's excited about the release of it. Somehow, even with neither of us having much news, we find ourselves nonstop talking the entire time. Even in the car ride back to Jaime's place we keep talking and never have an awkward pause.

Tony pulls into Jaime's driveway, puts his car into park and turns his attention over to me.

"Thanks for letting me take you out today." he says.

"Thanks for asking me. I had a good time."

"Me too. It was nice to feel like us again."

I nod in agreement. "It really was. I also liked the free food."

Tony laughs at me. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

"Hm, I think I've been told that once or twice." I say with a smile.

I don't want this time to end, but Tony and I's track record lately has been pretty bad, so I decide that it's best to end this before anything has the chance of threatening the great time out we just had together.

"I should probably head in." I say to Tony. "But again, thank you."

"Wait, before you go, I, uh, got you something." he says.

He reaches behind us into his backseat where a little blue bag no more than 10 inches big sits. He can hardly even contain his excitement as he hands it over to me.

"What is it?" I ask as I cautiously grab it from him.

"You need to open it to find out."

I give him another cautious look, but I do as he says and start to open it. My fingers brush against fabric inside, and I pull it out to reveal a baby onesie. The first thing I notice is how fucking tiny it is. I'm shocked a baby could even fit in it, that's how small it is. The next thing that I notice is the colour. It's a nice, sky blue colour, and on the front it has the words 'Mommy's favourite boy.'

"Do you like it?" Tony asks me, his voice filled with excitement.

I nod at him, still staring at it. "I love it."

"Are you sure?" he says with a laugh. "You're looking at it like there's something wrong with it. Did I get the wrong size or something?"

"No, the size is right." I say. "But the colours wrong."

Tony furrows his brows at me. "The colours wrong? What does - oh. Oh! We're having a girl?!"

"Yeah, we're having a girl." I say. I'm unable to stop the grin that spreads across my face when saying those words.

"No way." Tony says in disbelief. "I can't believe it."

Lost in the excitement of it all, Tony pulls me in and kisses me. And me? I let him.