Stained Glass Eyes and Colorful Tears

12

I can't say I'm surprised to hear a knock on my front door. Tony's texted me multiple times since he left my place yesterday and I left every single one unanswered. In his mind I'm probably in the process of packing my place up so I can move away to another state to get away from him. Half of me was tempted to not answering the door to make him panic even more, but I know that he would keep coming back, so I head to the door and pull it open to reveal my husband on the other side.

"Hey." I say, my voice tense.

"You didn't text me back." Tony teases, a playful smile on his lips.

"Should've taken the hint." I say. 

I leave the door open for him if he wants to come away, but I don't stay by it to see what he does. I head back to the kitchen where I was making myself a drink, not even bothering to look back at him to see if he comes in. I know he has, I can hear the floor creak where he's waking behind me. 

"What's wrong?" Tony asks me as he walks behind me. "After the other night I thought everything was fine between us. Or at least was on its way to fine."

He has a point. Last thing he knew, we were having sex and cuddling in bed the next morning. To him, things should be good right now. I should've opened the door happily and kissed him like he was expecting, but that's not our reality. Looking at our wedding photos yesterday put me in a shitty mood, one that seems to be making me sour, especially around Tony.

"Nothing's wrong." I say, my tone short. I finish pouring myself the very strong drink I need and down in a single go. "Want a drink?"

Tony eyes me cautiously. "Sure. Any special occasion for the sudden strong drinks?"

"No."

Tony sits down on the bar stool on the other side of the island. I slide the glass I just made towards him, then start on my own drink. I pour it a little stronger than the one I made for him. God knows I need it more. 

Tony had been silently watching me as I made my drink for me, his eyes studying me intensely. Once my drink is ready, however, he decides its time to talk again. 

"Alia, what's going on?" he asks me, his voice soft and caring.

"Nothing." I say again. "Can't I just want a drink?"

"You can, but I know for a fact that you only drink Bacardi when somethings wrong." Tony says.

I almost roll my eyes a this. I wish Tony didn't know me as well as he does sometimes. I wish that I could drink Bacardi without him knowing that it means my mental state is bad, but when you're married to someone for two years, you learn even the smallest habits and tells that they have. 

For example, I know that Tony needs to listen to something to fall asleep each night or else it takes him hours to get to sleep. I know that he has to shower every morning, and the warmer the water is, the happier it means he's feeling that morning. I also know that Tony is the kind of person who normally likes to get to the bottom of problems right away. He likes to let people work through their own issues on their own and he tries to be respectful, but he also wont feel better until he knows the problem is solved. 

With all that said, I know that this conversation wont be over until I tell Tony what's going on with me. Even if I were to kick him out of my place right now, he would still bring this up the very next time I saw him.

"I looked at our wedding photos after you left yesterday." I tell Tony.

"Oh." he says awkwardly. "And that upset you?"

"Obviously it upset me."

"Why?"

I throw my arms up in a hopelessly gesture. "Are you serious? You don't know why it would upset me?"