Family

FORTY-ONE

Is it all a lie?

Present || Leo

His touch. I can feel it. I can feel his cold hands touching me, his teeth ripping into my skin. I don't like it. Why won't this feeling go away? 

"Make it stop." I whisper into the darkness.

Alfonzo's hold tightens slightly on me, gazing at me with an unreadable look in his eyes.

He saved me. He was one of the last people I'd ever expect to save me from such a monster. His lust-filled eyes will forever be a memory scarred into me. 

Another one to add to the collection, a voice remarks.

"Your arms are bleeding Leo." Alfonzo states quietly, eyes wandering over my arms.

Dr John had practically ripped my hoodie off of me, he was far from gentle and his grip on my arms must've reopened the wounds I made a few days ago.

"Sorry." I whisper dejectedly.  

What are your sorry for this time?

Alfonzo frowns, opening his mouth to speak but Alonzo shakes his head, interrupting him" Leo, can I clean your arms up please? We don't want you getting an infection."

The blood looks nice the same voice whines.

I slowly shake my head, refusing to meet Alonzo's gaze. His eyes are glossy again, body shaking in rage. I'm the reason he's upset, why do I have to keep bothering everyone?

"Pass me the kit." Alfonzo commands.

Luca steps forward, placing the first aid kit in his hands, not bothering to spare me a glance. My eyes remain on his figure, watching as he curls his hands into fists, facing the wall silently. Everyone is angry at me I suppose.

"You've got blood on your neck," Alfonzo brings an antiseptic wipe to my neck, inhaling slightly," from where he bit you."

Flinching slightly, I turn to move myself out of his arms. His eyes are dark, void of any emotion once again, it scares me.

"Leo stop moving please." His voice is low, eyes daring me to argue.

"Ow." I mutter quietly as he wipes over my neck.

"There." Alfonzo mumbles, placing a few band-aids on my neck. He gently takes my bony arms in his calloused palms and cleans the open cuts. My eyes remain glued to my lap, too ashamed to meet anyone's eyes.

I must look really pathetic to them right now. They all probably think of me as some sort of suicidal-freak. Alonzo will probably never want anything to do with me again. Especially now that he knows what I did. After breaking that promise I made with him.

Why is this happening to me? I want to cry. I want to scream, shout, break something, I want to cut until I can't cut anymore, till my arms are a bleeding mess, till the pain gets so unbearable that's all I think about. 

"Do you want to take a shower?" He asks gently, rubbing his big, calloused hand on my cold skin.

It'd be good to wash him off you, say yes. A voice commands.

I nod slowly, my eyes watering again remembering what just occurred. If they hadn't been on time, if they didn't come-

I would've been raped.

Alfonzo helps me to my feet, guiding me to my bathroom. He fidgets slightly, eyes wandering over my figure.

Avoiding his penetrating gaze, I tuck my arms behind my back and walk into my bathroom, my body itching to be washed.

"Do you need help?" Alonzo asks, his body trembling slightly. 

Shaking my head, I keep my back towards them and shut the door, locking it behind me.

My feet drag me to the bathtub, memories of Derek drowning me in here resurfacing. This is all a punishment from God isn't it? 

"Why can I never be happy." I whisper, a lone tear making its way down my face.

Stop acting like a baby, a voice mutters. 

Ignoring the tub, I shakily step into the shower, letting the cold water wash away his touch. I can still feel the way his hands trailed up my thighs, his teeth biting into my skin. I guess I'm lucky that's all he did.

Grabbing my loofah, I harshly scrub my body, leaving dark, red trails behind that I fail to notice. I don't like feeling his touch on me, I want it gone. I want it all to disappear.

***

Wrapping a towel around my pale, scar-ridden body, I towel dry my hair gazing at my reflection in my mirror.

All I can see is an ugly, broken boy. 

"I look like a corpse." I mutter silently to myself.

What would Matteo think if he saw me now?

"You need to take better care of yourself Leo." A voice chirps.

There he is, leaning against wall by the door, a small smile on his face.

We stare at each other in silence for a few minutes before I sigh softly, a sad smile adorning my face. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry.

"You need to stop this Teo." My voice is barely a whisper yet I somehow manage to get the words out.

"Why?" He tilts his head slightly before pushing off the wall and walking towards me.

Raising his left hand towards my face, he whispers," Is this guilt eating away at you? You're getting tired of seeing me?"

His eyes darken," After all, you're the reason I'm like this Leo." He leans in close to my ears," You're the reason I'm dead."

Fire.

Teo's on fire.

A silent scream escapes my lips as his body is engulfed in flames, a smile etched onto his face. He places his burning hand on my face, giggling slightly," Why don't you do it too? Then we can be together and you'll have atoned for what you did!"

"I didn't mean to." I whisper, clutching my head, the sounds of sirens filling my ears, screaming and crying replaying like a loop.

Failing to hear the sound of my door being broken down, my mind goes into a spiral. 

He burned. My twin brother burned to death because of me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I mutter repeatedly, clutching my head even tighter.

You're nothing but a murderer, no wonder you're family hates you. A voice hisses.

Water. Water will put out the fire right? I can save him.

"I'll s-save you Teo. J-Just come to t-the water." I grab his hand, ignoring the way the fire burns my skin.

I urge him to get into the tub, his flaming body obediently doing so. I just have to put out the fire, then I can save him. I can save him. I can!

My eyes dart over his figure, anxiously biting my nails whilst waiting for the tub to fill up. He'll get better, I can help him like this. Maybe then after will get back to normal.

As the tub starts filling up, my body relaxes ever so slowly, my body being engulfed in something. It's almost comforting. My head begins to spin, vision darkening. Hands clutching at my chest as it tightens, its getting harder to breathe. Opening my mouth to take a deep breath, it feels as if a force is pulling me down. I can't breathe.

"Well done Leo." Teo whispers," You saved me." 

I did it? I saved him. I saved him.

Droplets of water begin to rain down on the bathroom floor, soon turning into a river. A loud crashing can be heard in the distance as my vision darkens.

Finally, I can rest in peace.

*****************************

Thoughts?

My poor baby 😭😭

Hope you're all doing okay, have a good day/night<3