Family

TWENTY-THREE

"What is depression like?" He whispered.

"It's like drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing."

Present || Leonardo

I woke up with a groan, flinching slightly as the morning sun greeted me. Today was Sunday. My last day of peace before school started. Father had made it clear that I was to attend m new school tomorrow with no excuses, regardless of my ankle.

I'd say it has healed but I doubt I'll be able to run on it just yet and I won't be able to do any sports because of my ribs and my ankle. 

Sighing, I made my bed and went into the bathroom. After washing my face, I contemplated on using concealer. 

You should, that way they won't have to look at you and see how much of a freak you are.

They're right, if I want my brothers to love me again then I have to look perfect. A small smile lit up my face as I covered my scar, completely unaware of the torment to come.

***

A small hum left me as I carefully walked through the house trying to find Alex. Alonzo had left in the morning with Alfonzo, for what I had no idea.

This played well on my part since Alonzo wouldn't fuss over my breakfast, which I had decided to skip today. The less weight I put on the better.

A maid walked up to me with a tray in her hands," Give this to the young sirs." She shoved the tray into me, it dug into my ribs making me whimper. Giving me a harsh glare, she bumped my shoulder and walked away.

"Where a-are they?" I called out, wincing in pain.

Looking back at me, she rolled her eyes," Out in the swimming pool."

My heartbeat quickened, it's okay nothing's going to happen.

I counted back from five and took deep breaths before walking into the garden towards the pool. I remember when we were younger, me and Luca would always like playing with the water and trying to learn to swim, it had taken weeks worth of begging and tears to get father to have a pool built for us. Every week we'd all go to the pool and play, most of us stayed in the shallow end since we hadn't learn to swim but Antonio and Giovanni always showed off their skills in the deep end. I remember begging Giovanni to teach me to swim and he promised me he would. That all stopped after the accident and Giovanni never ended up teaching me how to swim. Instead what they all collectively taught me was what happened to bad children. After all, it was my fault for the death of our mother. 

Sometimes I wish it was me that had died, not her. Maybe then this family wouldn't be as broken as it is now. Maybe then instead of everyone hating me, they'd mourn for me. They'd still love me.

My train of thoughts stopped when I arrived a few feet away from my brothers. Giovanni was in the pool along with Luca, they were laughing at something before glaring in my direction when they saw me.

"What do you want?" Giovanni asked annoyed.

I held up the tray with shaky hands, it was shocking how the drinks on it hadn't fallen with how much my body was trembling, Luca rolled his eyes before climbing out of the water, walking towards me and taking the tray from my hands.