Family

THIRTY-THREE

Sometimes, I feel painfully visible 

and entirely ignored.

Past || Leonardo

I wake up to a searing sensation on my bandaged hand, I wince before gently kissing it. That's what mommy did every time one of us got hurt.

My lips twisted into a frown, I haven't seen mommy in ages. Every time I ask Papa he hits me and tells me to get out of his sight. My cheek still has the print of his large hand and his ring. A reminder not to ask about mommy again.

A small smile overtakes my features remembering what day it is today. It's Luca's birthday today! We're going to have cake and sweets and music and have lots of fun! Birthday parties are always fun because we always spend them together!

Glancing around my room to make sure nobody's watching, I reach under my bed and take out the wrapped gift. Mommy and Teo helped me make it. It took me a whole month! Mommy taught me how to knit just because I wanted to make something special for Luca.

Quickly making my bed, I place the gift back under the bed and go into the bathroom. I quickly take a shower, whimpering slightly as the water hits a few bruises. I make sure to not let any hit my hand, it was so hard wrapping the bandage and I don't think I'll be able to sit still for another ten minutes trying to do it again.

Turning the shower faucet off, I wrap my bruised body in a towel and dry my hair. Giggling, I shake my wet, brown locks, getting water all over the bathroom mirror.

As I continue to towel dry my hair, my eyes look everywhere but the mirror, knowing full well what an ugly sight I'll meet. A seven year old boy, battered and bruised, eyes sunken and scarred forever.

"No wonder they hate me." I mumble.

Shaking my head, I get dressed into one of my old hoodies and joggers. I frown, noticing some of my bruises are noticeable from the holes in my hoodie. I wanted to dress up nicely today. Looking through the rest of my clothes, they're all in worse conditions, holes, stains and too small for me to wear. I guess I'll have to stick with this one till Papa takes me shopping.

I hope he does soon, we always go together! A smile lights up on my face remembering when he would take me every weekend and we'd spend hours running in and out of stores and getting food. Sometimes we would just window shop and get ice-cream on the way back home.

"What're you looking so sad about?" Teo asks, huffing slightly as I take a few seconds to answer him.

"I don't think Papa loves me anymore," I whisper, my eyes beginning to well up with tears.

Teo frowns," I think that was obvious Leo, you just realised?"

I flinch from his harsh tone and turn away, refusing to look at him. Papa did hit me sometimes but I don't think he means it, he's probably working really hard and missing mommy.

"I'm sorry," He whines, tugging on my arms," But you need to be more careful, stop begging for their attention Leo. They're not worth it. I can't wait for the day you realise that."

"You talk like Papa," I mumble.

The way Teo talks is similar to Papa's way of giving us advice when we're going through tough times, like when Teo and me got bullied at school. They'd shove us into table and steal our food and one even chopped my hair into chunky pieces. I remember Teo shoving the one who did it and throwing the scissors he used right at him. It was so bad, the principle even called Papa in! Papa had a long conversation with us afterwards, telling us to be the bigger person and ignore them; we didn't have to because the next time we went into school, they weren't there.