murder is on my mind

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A defeated sigh leaves my lips as I splash cold water on my face, instantly feeling the swelling around my eyes cool down. My eyes lift to meet the mirror in my room but this time I don't wince in disgust as I stare at the jagged line running over my eye from the top of my brow. My eyes are red-rimmed and deeply swollen, dark bags poking out from beneath my skin.

I had cried myself to sleep, through lunch and now it's dinner time.

Alfonzo had tried knocking on my door, even climbing the tree outside to try and get in but my body refused to move, footed to its spot on the ground, my back to the locked door.

Drying my hands on the towel, I chuck it aimlessly. I don't care if it lands on the floor.

My body tenses as soon as I step out of the bathroom, my eyes locking on the figure sitting on my bed, their back to me.

He heaves a sigh, standing to his full height before turning around to face me, his dark, grey eyes immediately softening.

"Leo." He breathes, stepping towards me.

I instinctively take a step back and hurt crosses his features but he masks the emotion as quick as it came.

"Are you upset because you thought I forgot about your birthday?" His tone is soft, as if speaking to a toddler on the verge of a tantrum.

My brows draw together in confusion at his words, birthday?

It's my birthday today?

"What?" I whisper, staring at him with wide eyes.

Alfonzo's shuts his eyes, "Don't tell me you didn't know?" 

He stares at me, disbelief written across his features as I nod slowly, fiddling with the sleeve of my oversized hoodie.

Alfonzo steps closer, closing the distance between us and cups my face, his large hands swallowing me whole, "Then why are you so upset piccolo?"

He gazes at me with nothing but warmth and softness and his use of Italian only makes my heart clench.

I haven't been called that in so long.

My eyes drift to the small backpack leaning against the edge of my bed by the floorboard, hidden by the lack of light in my room.

Alfonzo follows my line of sight, his hands leaving my face as he reaches for the bag, emptying the contents onto my bed.

The clothes, if you could even call them clothes, that I brought with me when I first arrived fall into a pile of rags on my bed, my toothbrush and toothpaste and the little amount of savings I've managed to gather over the years all fall out.

Alfonzo turns to me, his jaw clenched and anger barely restrained, "Leo what the hell is this about? You suddenly run upstairs on the verge of a breakdown, lock yourself in your room and when I finally manage to break into your room not only do you look like hell but you're packed up like you're going there!"

His chest heaves as he stared at me, rage overtaking the worry in his eyes he showed moments before.

"You're sending me away." My voice is soft, eyes downcast, a broken smile playing on my lips.

I knew this wasn't going to last.

I knew we wouldn't be together for-

"Never." Alfonzo says, his voice firm as he wraps his arms around me, crushing me to his chest, "Don't you ever say something so stupid." He scolds me and my heart churns in confusion, "Why would I be sending you away silly boy?"

"But Giovanni and Antonio.." My voice trails off, not sure what to say.

Alfonzo pulls away, his eyes narrowing, "What did those two say to you?"

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