I Just Want to Be With My Wife

Money's Talking for Destiny, and Mario's Trying His Hand at Frog Marching

Destiny's at her wit's end with her parents at the bank. "I'm sorry, Collier. How soon can we get out of here?"

"Just checking for all the dots on the I's and crosses on the t's." Collier says. "Along with a team counting cash. That's going to take time."

"Hopefully it's everything." Beatrice pipes up, making Destiny groan. "Our map's almost completely useless."

"What map?" Collier says sharply.

"That's what she calls the records of where she keeps the money." Destiny says quickly, then upon seeing Beatrice scrambling, demands, "Mom, what are you doing?"

"I forgot something, and I don't even know what!" Beatrice says. "Matteo, do we have the bag of bribe money with us?", then says to Collier before Destiny can stop her, "We have a bag of bribe money."

"Why don't you just say it on the radio, Mom?" Destiny snaps. "Maybe then the cops will hear it."

Then to Matteo, "And I don't want to hear one word from you about Collier, got it? He's my friend Ian's brother and he's really coming through for us."

"He's stealing from us is what he's doing." Matteo mutters. "Wish I could do the same."

"Mr. Collier." Beatrice pipes up yet again. "Can you tell me if we have to worry about another Depression? Is that something you have inside knowledge about?"

"If I did, I'd own the bank. Or work in the White House." Collier says dryly.

"Ah!" Beatrice pulls out a wad of cash, dropping it on the desk. "I found this behind a radiator."

"Mom!" Destiny exclaims, grabbing it. "You said you found everything!"

"On the first map!" Beatrice corrects. "I found a few other ones!"

She pulls out the maps in questions, "These can go in the safe, can't they? They know where I stashed the others."

"Mine now." Destiny snatches them up, then asks Collier desperately. "Is everything more or less alright?"

"Thank you for shopping at J. Palmer." Luigi says as he hands over another brushed, repaired, and steamed garment to a customer.

"Sometimes I wanna look good for my special lady, you know?" Luigi overhears a customer say to a sales clerk.

"Of course you do, sir." Luigi calls out. "When else are you supposed to look good?"

"So how am I supposed to do that?" the customer asks.

"Try something bold." The clerk suggests.

"Oof." Luigi winces.

"Bold how?"

"Magenta?"

"Yikes..." Luigi despairs.

"Maybe..."

"Or how about tangerine?"

"Oh God no." Luigi shakes his head, making the customer and clerk look over at him right as Mario walks in, finding him in the booth.

"Lu?" Mario laughs. "You're in a box! Did Dinky put you in there?"

"I'm a valet clerk now." Luigi explains. "It's my job, and I'm proud to do it, Mario. Lay off."

Right then, a customer shoves a garment at him, completely undermining his statement, which Mario notices.

"Living the dream, aren't you?" he says sarcastically.

" Attention, J. Palmer customers. The store will be closing in 20 minutes."

"Wait a second." Luigi says as he finishes hanging the garment. "Why are you here?"

"Tonight's gig?" Mario reminds him.

"I thought we were gonna meet up there." Luigi says.

"I realized it's on the way." Mario tries.

"It's not even in New Donk." Luigi calls him out.

"Is it a crime to want extra time with my client beforehand to talk?" Mario says defensively.

"Oh My God, you're dragging me there, aren't you?" Luigi realizes as he pulls his uniform off.

"That's just a bonus." Mario doesn't deny it.

"Mario!" Luigi exclaims.

"I've been booking gigs left and right, and I'd like to know my client is already there instead of being forced to watch the door like a stage door Johnny."

"I'm not even that late!" Luigi says as he hangs up his uniform, to which Mario only glares at him. "Alright, fine!"

As he finally steps out of the booth, he says, "We're going together, but we're gonna have a talk about trust before we part ways!"

He calls, "Victor, punch me out!", but then gets caught up as he goes to a customer and says, "Not these.", and points out two other shirts. "These are perfect."

He goes to a customer sniffing colognes and says, "No way.", then picks up another bottle. "This, and..." upon finding another bottle, he picks that up too. "That."

Then he stops one last customer and says, "No and no.", then picks up two different belts. "Yes and yes."

Then he marches out with Mario following, commenting, "Sometimes I wonder how we came out of the same uterus."