I Just Want to Be With My Wife

Mia Gives Some Unsolicited Advice, and the Bros Talk Business

"I've never cut open a whole pig before."

"I've never even seen a whole pig before."

"Cutting off the head's not going to be easy."

"Mia? How did you do?" Patsy asks.

"I didn't do it. I thought it was demeaning." Mia replies.

"That's not gonna look good for your master's."

"Master's? Is that what all of you are doing?" Mia asks. "What do you plan to do with it afterwards?"

"Excuse me?"

"You'd think, if you're going to all the trouble to get a master's for it, you're going to be putting it to good use, no?" Mia shrugs.

"What is she saying?" Patsy asks Dolores.

"What're your plans for after graduation?" Mia asks.

"There's so much we can do with it! Teach a class."

"Teach a cooking class? Where?" Mia asks curiously.

"I guess here." Patsy shrugs.

"But you don't see any women teachers here, do you?" Mia points out. "Only men."

"Huh. Guess they are." Patsy says thoughtfully.

"Why did I not notice until now?" Dolores wonders.

"But some of us aren't going to teach at all!" Mary pipes up. "I want to be a chef!"

"But when was the last time you heard of a lady chef, let alone one in the States?" Mia points out, once again. "There were many in Bologna when I was younger. Though I haven't heard them making anything resembling a splash lately. People hear about a woman cooking, they think, 'she can do that just as well in her own kitchen'. And most women don't want to cook anyway. They want something with a mix, something they can walk away from while they take care of the rest of the house."

"I've lost my appetite." Patsy puts down her sandwich.

"Am I right to assume you're here thinking your future husband will appreciate it?" Mia asks. "My son didn't give his wife a chance, just took over all the cooking from day one. Not that that matters now, because he's in a demeaning job after she dumped him."

"Being married sounds nice." Patsy says.

"I wouldn't bother here." Mia suggests. "Not in cooking. Try the construction program. So many things you could get hired for, with a guarantee of more work in the long run."

Then upon realizing she might've said too much, Mia says, "Sorry if I overstepped. I clearly don't know much about how trade school actually works."

"No!" Mary says quickly.

"Yeah, Mia, you've actually helped a lot." Patsy says quietly.

As Mario and Luigi eat at the Encore Café and Bakery, Luigi looks over and swears.

"Fuck."

"What?"

"You won't believe who's in here right now." Luigi says.

"Who is it?"

"Cranky Kong."

"Cranky Kong?" Mario repeats, looking over.

"Does he see us?" Luigi asks in a whisper.

"Worse. He's coming over here." Mario says.

"Should I jump him?" Luigi offers.