A Human's Touch || BillFord (Gravity Falls)

Charmed // What Friends Are For

[Bill POV]

The more I work with Fordsy the more I become impressed, ya know even if humans are just a bunch of gross layers of flesh glued to a skeleton with a gooey, wrinkly Altair 8800 tucked in their head, maybe they're a bit more special or unique then I originally thought! Or at least, Fordsy is.
With the few months I've been working with him I almost feel sorry for what I'm about to do to the sucker! Maybe once the portal is done I can have him join me and the freaks! With that extra finger, he'll fit right in! He could be my personal human puppet, or maybe even second in command! Something about him just makes me feel like I could do anything, I mean I could already do anything but even more so with him! I could show him to the guys like a prized trophy, a little reminder of when we take over the Earth! We could destroy galaxies together! All he has to do is keep aimlessly following my lead. Once he sees the party we're about to throw I'll catch him up on what he's "missed".
We could even get space Tacos to celebrate! I love that place, the infinite empanadas are the best! Sure they cause a few wormholes, but who cares, they're Infinite empanadas!
Anyway I found out some stuff while swimming around in Ford's mind recently, his bad connection to his brother, what scares him, his bad luck with women, even his orientation! I never knew humans could be so complex! He's some kind of bi-curious demisexual, still don't quite know what the last one means but I'm all for the queer community if that's what it is, even some of my Henchmaniacs swing that way, even some other dimensions I've been in have that sort of thing as complete normalcy! I may be evil but I don't get how some humans are so quick to hate the other, different ones. Those different ones are fun!

Anyway I've also been spying on that Fiddleford character that Sixer lives with, and boy, He is interesting! He keeps insisting what me and Ford have is strange yet he doesn't even know exactly who I am! But for being such a thorn in my side, once I get the portal done I might shove him in a box somewhere and throw him away so he can't keep distracting Ford from our deal. I can't wait to get rid of him. All his stupid gestures like that snowglobe, the six finger gloves he made him, even the way he talks is so infuriating!  Not to mention that annoying banjo. Maybe I'll pull some strings and send a monster after him to "take care" of him. Let me look through my interdimensional phone book!
Enie, meanie, mineyy.. you! Ooooo, Krampus! Just in time for the winter season too! While Sixer's journaling away and setting up for Hanukkah I'll tell goat boy here to keep an eye on the shack for me! I'll have to bribe him a little by letting him steal some other mortals but it's a worthy sacrifice. The town probably won't even notice!
Anyway Krampus says he'll come around sometime this week or so. Finally I can fix that Fiddleford problem!
Now for the next thing, the portal. He still hasn't caught on yet, which is perfect! If I can just get him to build the portal, maybe by telling him it'll solve the big mysteries he's after, then we're home free! I guess we better start the preparations. Sixer's snoozing in the upstairs living room anyway, I bet he won't mind if I just hop into his dreams real quick!
When I entered his dream it wasn't the usual mindscape, I guess Sixer was having some kind of nightmare. He was mourning somewhere at a grave that read "Stanley Pines". I rolled my eye and tapped sixer on the shoulder. He looked at me with puffy eyes. "Wowsers, this is boring." I snapped my fingers and changed the scenery to our usual mindscape setting. He stood up and rubbed his eyes, exhaling a sigh of relief "I'm, thank you Bill. Its actually.. good to see you" he muttered, trying to relax from whatever his brain was conjuring for him before. "yeah, yeah, I'm great." I gave him a pat on the shoulder so he'd focus on me instead of his pathetic fears. "So, is there something you need from me?" He ask. "Well you've proven yourself worthy of my trust time and time again so I actually wanted to tell you the key to figuring out those big mysteries you've been chasing! How's about we work on some blue prints while I explain the rest?" I carefully watch his expression. "I guess that's okay. What did you have in mind?" He naively replies. "Well, there's a device I need you to make see, it's a portal that'll let out one pretty powerful guy who can help you with your research, and boy I know you've been pinning for answers!" I tease, pun intended. "Are you saying you want to come to Gravity Falls? That being in our realm will exceed my research?" He suggest. "Right on the money! I mean think about it, we're an amazing team, with more hands on experience I could tell you anything and everything! You could make a fortune off of your research with my help!" I explain. "Well, I was never in it for the money, but I suppose it would be nice. It would sure stick it to that collage that rejected me over my past experiments, and maybe even S would.." he started to go quiet but I knew what he was thinking about. "The gateway will enhance your research, Fordsy. Isn't this what friends are for? Helping each other?" I stated cunningly. "Well, after all you've done for me, I might as well trust you" Sixer smiled. "Great! This is how genius happens, Stanford, help from a friend!" I beamed, weaseling my way closer to victory with every false promise, bended truth and lie. The building of the portal can finally begin!