Fangirl School (Percy Jackson)

The Box? (TRIGGER WARNING!!)

(A/N: TRIGGER WARNING: PANIC ATTACK.(sort of) You've been warned.)

"You're telling me you have no idea what you're doing? You hyped everyone up, came up with a name and everything, but you have no idea what you're doing."

I nodded miserably.

Fiona adjusted her glasses. "You're in trouble."

"I mean, it's not that bad, right?" I tried.

Of course, I had hyped everyone up that morning with a "fight for the fandoms," only to drag Fiona to my house after school to confess to her I had no idea how we were going to fight for justice.

"It is that bad," she admitted. "Hey, I'm your best friend. Don't give me that look," she added when I glared at her. "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You even got me excited."

"So I have to figure out how to find the people in charge of the entirety of Fangirl School, and convince them to let us have the Get-Into-The-Book event, and include all the minor fandoms in it," I confirmed.

"Yeah, now that you say it, it does sound bad," she said. "How about this: you haven't tried that box you got from Uncle Rick for winning the reenactment. Let's try it now and try to forget about this."

She was right. I hadn't at all used the shifting box Uncle Rick had given me. Now seemed like a perfect time.

I pulled it out from my closet, dusting it off. "How are we doing this? Where do we go?"

"Camp Half-Blood," Fiona said without hesitation. She was flitting through the instruction manual. I didn't really want to read it, so I let her handle all the details to set up where we were ending up.

"Okay, so I'm Fiona," she said, finally turning to me.

"I'm Y/N, nice to meet you," I said, proof I needed to stop hanging out with Jacqueline so much.

Fiona sighed. "Yes, you are. We're daughters of Athena. We've been at camp for two days, and we're about to get claimed, so act surprised."

"Are you sure about this? I'm nervous," I admitted. It seemed so cool, but I was worried we'd get trapped.

"Nothing bad should happen- are you okay? You're turning pale."

I shook my head. All I could think of was the fear of being trapped in the world of Camp Half-Blood, with monsters and gods who just couldn't keep it in their pants.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," Fiona said gently, shoving the box aside. "We really don't. I was just trying to get you to relieve stress."

I nodded, then shook my head. "I think it can wait," I said slowly. "Didn't we have Shipping Homework?"

"Done," she said. "We had to come up with a big 'What-If in our ship and explain it. Mine was what if Percy never noticed Annabeth went to the sirens."

"Sounds great," I said, pulling out my laptop from my bag. I felt sick. I didn't know why. My throat was all closed up yet I felt like I was about to vomit.

"Okay, you really need-" Fiona cut herself off, pulling out her phone. I didn't know why she had it out. I didn't bother to wonder. My head spun.

She set the phone in front of me. On the screen there was- oh, goodie. Walker Norman.

I wanted to scream. How was he supposed to be any help?

"Y/N, take a breath, please," Fiona begged.

I shook my head again. Why was she swaying from side to side like that? And why was Walker on the phone also swaying? And why was there no air all of a sudden?

Fiona got up and put the box away. I felt a little good when it was out of sight. I felt even better when Fiona wrapped her arms around me.

"Y/N, you're having a panic attack," she said. "Please, breathe."

"I'm trying!" I said, my voice shaky.

(A/N: this is coming from someone who's never had a physical panic attack before, so I apologize if this turns out terribly inaccurate.)

She continued hugging me, rubbing my back. She had shut off the phone with Walker, so it was just me and her.

"Breathe," she kept saying, occasionally adding in a please.

I calmed down after I don't know how long. Fiona was still rubbing my back. The room stopped spinning and I didn't feel like throwing up anymore.

"You're okay," she said slowly. "You're alright."

"I'm okay," I repeated. "I'm alright."

And I hung on to that, repeating those words like they were a lifeline until they felt true.

I was okay. I was alright.

Fiona spent the night. I didn't ask her to, but before I could even respond she had called her mom, and Mrs. Albert arrived a half hour later to drop Fiona's stuff off.

We spent the night in sleeping bags on my bedroom floor. Every so often I'd repeat the words again.

I'm okay. I'm alright.

We went to school together the next day. Neither of us talked about it. In fact, neither of us really talked at all, mostly letting Delphine yap for the most of the day. Lucas tried to pull me aside because he's Lucas and he clearly knew something was wrong, but Fiona helped me avoid him. She gave me an extra-long hug before she went home. I hugged back, but mostly just let her hug me.

Recovery was hard. Panic attacks aren't easy, especially when it's your first. I mostly just read Percy Jackson for the whole day, blasting music and completely ignoring the group chat.

And when I went to bed that night, I knew.

I was okay.

I was alright.

For real this time.