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God I'm Tired

I understand I should never question you.
I understand I'm made to follow whatever quest you have me do.
I understand you expect me to keep going when I'm feeling blue.
I understand when I'm facing lies I should remain true.
I understand I'm here to face all evil until my life is through.
I understand I should be grateful for the blood your son's body drew.
I understand you expect me to keep the faith of a mustard seed too.
But God I am exhausted.
My mind, my patience and my strength.. I've lost it!
I'm tired of being the doormat.
I'm tired of handling everybody's troubles while mine lay back.
I'm tired of searching for my purpose like a needle in a haystack.
I'm tired of ignoring the gossiping.
I'm tired of holding the hope of my life prospering.
I'm tired of losing people who's still breathing.
I'm tired of playing tough against these demons.
I'm tired of my life progressing then freezing.
I'm tired of depression attempt to cause treason.
I'm tired of my family.
I'm tired of my friends.
I'm tired of trying to make ends.
I'm tired of weeping.
I'm tired of falling on my face after every try of leaping.
I'm tired of keeping faith.
I'm tired of holding my tongue and playing it safe.
I'm tired of being a single parent.
I'm tired of mistaking being the black sheep with being variant.
I'm tired of yearning stability.
I'm tired of depression, resentment and pain.. the whole trilogy.
I'm tired of wasting my talents.
I'm tired of chasing balance.
I'm tired of praying for the better.
I'm tired of the constant storms, the ugliest weather.
I'm tired of people pleasing.
I'm tired of having nobody when I need them.
I'm tired of the weeds wrapped up in my plant stems.
I'm tired of relieving everyone's stress.
I'm tired of trying my damn best.
I'm tired of proving myself in every one of your tests.
I'm tired of making all the sacrifices.
I'm tired of SUFFICING.
I'm EXHAUSTED God.
I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Instead I'm being sucked into a funnel.
Hear my cry please.
I'm balling on my knees.
Just please put my mind and heart at ease.