Learn From Us

Same Ole Cycles

Sometimes I just zone out.
My hearing equivalent to gone out.
My mood just completely thrown out.
I can't seem to feel.
Absolutely nothing feels real.
Life be feeling harder to swallow than a pill.
I got rage deep enough to kill.
Sorrow deep enough to drown.
That's not even results of the issues caused by my skin being brown.
I hardly ever get excited.
I know it won't be long before I forget why I felt delighted.
Sometimes everything feels so dreadful.
Sometimes I can't think cause my head full.
I can't trust anyone.
If I was a chef and my life a steak, it'd be well done.
Tired of feeling like I'm holding hands with the devil going on a hell run.
So much ancestral weight on my path.
The same ones making you cry should be making you laugh.
Trying to figure life out feels like being on Microsoft Word opening drafts.
I thought I was pushing forward.
My dreams I was getting closer towards.
But something always pushing me back and I land on swords.
My pride and faith crumbles more and more every year.
I'd be a billionaire if I had twenty five sent every time I drop a tear.
It's tough to keep going after each attempt.
I thought with God on my side from hell I'd be exempt.
When I was a little girl wanting to be an adult, this not what I've dreamt.
Romantic interests don't care about your feelings just sex.
Couple thrusts and strokes then on to the next.
Now they're demonstrating you to their people like it's a flex.
Afterwards you lucky if you get a text.
Especially if you forgot that latex.
I can't share my mind with my family, friends or the person I lay with.
Seems like I don't have a choice so my demons? I play with.
That fire on my candle of depression stay lit.
On the day of birth , we should've got a birth certificate, a social and a mental safe kit.
My ego sure can take hits.
My most familiar emotion is frustration.
My anger and fears flow together like menstruation.
I'm tired of playing strong.
Why does living feel wrong?
Why my plans never fall through?
Why people never come true?
How long does this shit last?
How come my present feels like a remix of the past?
How I'm supposed to cope?
I'm struggling to keep hope.
Some days I go without a word spoke.
I hate when my aura gives I'm a joke.
Tired of wallowing through life like I had a few drinks.
Honestly, I'd feel the spirits before our glasses clink.
Another failed attempt, my pride continues to sink.
If I took a hike , I'd just jump from the brink.
I'm not suicidal or hoping to die.
Just finally want my chance to fly.
I've had enough chances to cry.
Tired of hoping my life was a lie.
I surrender my worry.
I surrender my support.
With everybody, I keep all my responses short.
I should get paid to be an athlete cause I'm tackling losses like a sport.