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Dear Mama

Dear Mama,
Listen to me carefully when I speak.
You've always been my backbone when I was weak.
You are always so filled with pride.
You remind me of a beautiful rose with thorns in your side.
I can count on my hand how many times I've seen you with tears in your eyes.
I've never witnessed you ask anyone for anything, not even rides.
On my long journey to adulthood, you're right there for the stride.
I never put myself in your shoes until I became the same size.
I used to find you so mean but you only made me realize life is a prize.
To me, your opinion is the most valuable in the world.
I want you to see me succeed and be a great mom to my little girl.
I always yearn to hear you say you're so proud.
I been your biggest fan since a small child.
You've always been so inspiring.
Always working hard long as businesses were hiring.
Your personality is so fiery.
Mama if looks could kill,
The judge would sentence you 50 years.
You've always shined amongst your peers.
Your stylish aura gives Chanel even if you shopped at Sears.
Why wouldn't I look up to you?
Why not think of you before everything I do?
I owe you so much for old and new.
I love you so much mama.
I know one day we'll look back on all our drama.
And We'll erase all that old trauma.
I know you'll be there when I receive my karma.
I'll never hate you mama, I promise.
I often miss how much we bonded before.
I always feel like after my pregnancy you closed the door.
I never intended to disappoint you.
I understand you just wanted for me everything you never got to do.
I know that was a bad influence on my brother too.
I used to get angry thinking about how acceptive you were of his truth.
But if I was already first, what could you do?
I pray to God you miss me too.
You're the only support I want when I feel blue.
Your emotional unavailability makes me feel like you don't have a clue.
Sometimes I feel like I don't mean nothing to you.
Sometimes your energy is so strong I can almost feel your blood brew.
Then I sit back and reflect that mama got a life too.
That you carry your burdens and our burdens around like a crew.
And what about all the things you been through?
Mama, I've been so selfish of your time.
Taking over your life as if it was mine.
Who knows how many times I left you crying.
I'm so sorry mama I swear.
With every word I write my heart continues to tear.
As your daughter I've been everything but fair.
Because after everything you're the only one still there.
Even after the stems of our arguments stopped to care.
I will be something great, just please give me time to prepare.
We have so many fruits of our labors to share.
I pray you appreciate my vulnerability.
I pray you hold out your olive branch and give it to me.
My words are not meant for you to be sympathetic.
I just want to reach out and be apologetic.
I'm in a completely different phase of my life.
I want us to move forward in peace with no strife.
Mama I hope my words find you well.
However you're feeling about them you don't have to tell.
I deserved everything you threw at me for causing hell.
But thanks to you I feel like I can never fail.
I'm just like you mama, I'll always Prevail.

Dedicated to my lovely mother, Myeshia.
I love you.