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Trapped

I'm so tired of being stuck in this box.
My life sits so still but that doesn't include the time on the clock.
I feel like I've lost more than I've ever got.
Somehow it's still hard to understand who's good for me or not.
I feel like I'm writing my story while someone constantly changes the plot.
I'm active on the outside while my insides rot.
They all promised to be there, I guess they forgot.
I struggle in every aspect.
Losing faith in every project.
I'm slipping back into isolation.
Anything to avoid losing pride and seeking consultation.
I try so hard to people please.
They try harder to ignore my needs.
I'm like a soda bottle stuck under a tight cap.
I couldn't catch a break if it fell in my lap.
It's so close to that eternal peace that's why I love a nap.
I'm losing sight of hope like someone took scissors to my map.
Will anybody ever hear me?
Why does it feel like happiness fear me?
How come peace won't come near me?
Every day it's a trial.
Trauma inevitable like a phone with a dial.
They won't even go an inch when I already went miles.
God knows my heart but I'm tired of praying.
If life was a game, I'm tired of playing.
These same thoughts, I'm tired of saying.
Love is a lie.
It always ends with silent goodbyes.
Whether it's romantic or your people dies.
There's nothing worth having.
What we have is from scavenging.
I can't care any longer.
My peers never felt wronger.
Tired of craving a break, damn near starving of hunger.
Still, will anybody ever hear me?
Not until nobody can come near me.
God just continue to steer me.
I'm on my last breath with this mustard seed.
Your favor is my biggest need.
Don't allow my heart to continue being zapped.
Free me from the mental prison leaving me trapped.