Micah (bxb)

A flicker of hope

(Micah)

I felt like an idiot.

When I woke up, I found Landon curled next to me his scent was calming yet slightly intoxicating.

I knew that my earlier panic was because I felt his anger through our bond, but it escalated when Landon grabbed my arm.

I thought that he was going to hurt me, but when he didn't, I felt like such a fool for the way I had acted.

Arlo had to come and calm me down when that was supposed to be my mate's job. But, a part of me couldn't stand Landon touching me after feeling so guilty.

Staring at him sleeping, I knew how much he had changed. Even though the abuse was still fresh in my mind, I was unable to ignore the way Landon was now.

He looked so peaceful in his sleep that I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the one holding us back.

Landon had been trying so hard, doing everything he could to prove he was different, that he was better.

But I wasn’t sure if I could ever fully believe it—if I could ever fully believe in us.

My mind wandered to Arlo, the way he had stepped in when I needed him the most.

It wasn’t supposed to be that way. Landon was my mate; he was the one who should have been there to calm me down, to reassure me.

But instead, it had been Arlo’s voice that had pulled me out of the panic, his presence that had steadied me when I felt like I was falling apart.

I let out a soft sigh, careful not to wake him. He didn’t deserve to see this side of me, the part that was still so broken.

I was supposed to be stronger, for him, for us. But every time I felt his anger, even just a flicker of it, I was thrown back into the past, trapped in a loop of fear and guilt.

Landon shifted beside me, his hand brushing against mine, and I froze.

Even now, I wasn’t sure if I could handle his touch. I had wanted so badly to believe that things could be different, that we could be different, but it was so much harder than I had imagined.

I felt his bond, a steady thrum of affection and remorse, and it made my chest tighten.

Landon was trying, I knew that, but I was terrified that it wouldn’t be enough—that I wouldn’t be enough.

“Micah?” His voice was groggy, barely more than a whisper, but it made me jump nonetheless.

“Yeah?” I tried to keep my voice steady, but I knew he could hear the strain in it.

“You’re okay?” His eyes were still half-closed, but I could see the concern in them, feel it through our bond.

I hesitated, not wanting to burden him with my thoughts, but knowing I couldn’t keep them bottled up forever.

“I’m… trying,” I finally admitted, my voice barely a whisper as I looked at him.

He sat up while sighing. I knew that the way I had acted was affecting him and I so much wanted to be different.

We were here for a reason, to enjoy ourselves and spend time with our families and friends. That's what Jacob wanted, but it seems as if I messed things up even before we started to have fun.

“I went out to talk to Logan.” I started to explain, seeing the jealousy in his eyes at the mention of Logan's name. But I had to explain this or else we wouldn't get past the guilt.

“I wanted to talk to him about the way he was acting towards me, to make him stop. I knew that you wouldn't want me to go and everyone else would have a problem with me leaving, so I decided that the best approach was to not say anything.” I gulped as I carefully watched his reaction, still feeling a bit wary.

“I made a bad choice I understand that much. I have a good memory which led me back to the café. I knew that I was safe and nothing could harm me. We are immortals, right? I get that there is some slight defect in that and we can still feel pain. But, I have Seff with me, and he would also protect me.” I was trying to get Landon to see my side in this, to explain to him that there was no reason for him to panic whenever I decided to go out alone.

“Shit. I sometimes forget about that immortal thing. It's just that I don't feel any different. Jacob always said that when I panic, I tend not to think straight, and he's right.” His shoulders slumped, making me smile a little.

“I feel the same as well about being immortal. It's only a stupid side effect that allows us to still feel pain.” I replied, which had him laughing.

“I was thinking, since they are leaving tomorrow why don't we remain here for at least a week more? Just the two of us. I want to continue to treat you special. Would you like that?” My eyes widened with shock.

I started to use my fingers to clean my ears out, making sure that I was hearing correctly. But made sure that nothing came out on them and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that they were clean.

“You, Landon Shepard, want us to stay here when you have a pack to tend to?” I asked sarcastically, my disbelief still evident. His smile widened, which had me laughing out loud.

“Yeah well, they can manage without me. Plus, I have a lot to make up for; I'll take you all over the world if I have to.” I raised my eyebrow, wondering when he had become so cringe.

“I'm fine here. Yeah, we can stay here as long as you can pay for it.” I demanded playfully, which made him tackle me carefully on the bed.

“I can pay for anything you want, just name it and you'll receive it. I love you, Micah James; I don't ever want you to doubt that.” And I did believe him, there was no reason for me not to.

“You forgive me right?” He asked, looking at me with hope and desperation.

I pulled him down and crashed my lips to his, he didn't hesitate. His kiss was eager and filled with the same urgency that I felt inside.

When we finally broke apart, our breaths mingled in the quiet room. I stared at him and poured all of my love into our bond which he felt.

It was the only reassurance he needed, to know that there was nothing to forgive him for because he didn't do anything wrong.