Secrets in Disguise

31: Realization Hits

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Khiya POV

"Urgent matter lang, Lian. Don't worry, okay naman na kami."

I don't know what's going on... I just found myself na hawak hawak na ako ni Cary and then biglang nakasalubong namin si... Lian— I immediately look away... I can't look at her. I don't want to reminisce what I saw earlier.

"Ahh... okay lang ba si Khiya?" okay? Never na yata akong magiging okay.

"Oum, pagod lang siguro siya. Bye, Lian! Good luck sa painting contest mo bukas!" tomorrow nga din pala yung contest niya, I want to give her my best good luck... but it was my own urge not to... I might cry if I do so.

"Yeah... thanks"

Until sa makaalis kami ng safehouse at makasakay ng taxi ay naka-silent mode lang ako. Literal na tulala lang ako na nakasilip sa bintana, and I was thankful to Cary, she respect my space.

"Thank you po, Manong"

Pagkababa namin ng taxi, wala pa sa loob ng apartment namin ay huminto na ako sa paglakad.

"You saw it, didn't you?" I frankly ask her.

I knew she does. She will not pulled me out of there without a reason... or I was really look miserable kanina even I'm not crying.

"Khiya... " by the tone of her answer and her look at my eyes— I knew it.

"I want to cry... it hurts" and then again, the tears I hold kanina pa started to fall.

Damn it! It hurts me so much! It pains me to witnessed that. He's freaking kissing with someone else! Did he already move on?

"Hala! Khiya!" mabilis na lumapit si Cary sa akin nung kusa ng nanghina yung tuhod ko at napaluhod na lang ako sa damuhan.

I can't take it anymore. Hinang hina ako, I feel so stupid kanina! I felt betrayed.

I don't want to say any more words, I can't. I just want to cry it all out again.

He always knew how to break me into pieces, he knows how to hurt me like hell. Is this his way of showing me, unnoticed, that he really starting to move on?— But I can't accept that! I can't. And I'm not sure if I can.

Please! Tell me that all of that is just my imagination. That it wasn't real— I'm starting to get desperate again. I hate him but I hate myself more for not doing anything kanina, I just stood there and watch them like a complete stupid.

I can't do anything! I can't! Bullshit!

I'm tired. I'm tired of this whole shit! My eyes are tired but my tears can't stop. I'm already exhausted but I can't just give up. I'm holding to his promise befode— I'm still holding na babalik pa siya sa akin.

(R-18)

!!!Warning!!!

Jhaya POV

"Ughh! Shit— ughh!"

"Wait... malapit na— ughh!"

Randam ko. Malapit na.

Malapit na kaming labasan.

"Faster— ughh!"

Mas lalong napahigpit yung sabunot ng kanang kamay ko sa buhok niya habang nakatukod naman sa dingding yung kaliwa kong kamay... maintaining our balance.