Hello, Yellow Fellow

Chapter 16

Hello, Yellow Fellow
Chapter 16: Hallucinate?

"Shit," bulong ko sa sarili habang ramdam ko ang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. Hawak-hawak ko pa rin ang camera, pero parang hindi na ako makapag-focus. 

Damn, I miss him. 

"Elio!"

A voice called from behind, snapping me out of my trance. Someone tapped my shoulder, and with that, parang nabasag ang maliit na mundo ko na nakatutok lang kay Maki. Inis kong sinulyapan kung sino ang nambasag ng moment ko.

"What?" I snapped, without even meaning to.

It was Lian. Nakatingin siya sa akin na parang may gustong itanong. Seryoso rin ang expression niya, pero may halong pagtataka. Napansin ko pa ang slight crease sa forehead niya habang palipat-lipat ng tingin sa akin at sa direksyon kung saan nakatutok ang camera ko.

"Tara na doon sa may stage, kulang kami at kulang pa tayo ng shots. Kanina ka pa nakatutok diyan ah. May crush ka ba sa business department?" tanong niya, may halong curiosity at konting inis sa boses.

I turned back to the crowd, scanning for the person I had seen just moments ago. But instead of Maki, there was just a sea of unfamiliar faces. My heart sank. I blinked rapidly, then refocused my camera, zooming in on the spot where I’d seen him. Pero... wala na si Maki. Gone. Like he was never there.

Napabuntong-hininga ako, pinilit hanapin siya sa lens, pero wala. Shit, nag-hallucinate ba ako? Did I really just see him, or was it all in my head? Pero, kitang-kita ko kanina ang paglingon niya, and that dumb smile, 'yong ngiting maangas na kinaiinisan ko pero nagugustuhan ko. I could've sworn it was him, the way he turned, that dumb smile of his that I knew so well. Kung hindi lang sana ako inistorbo ni Lian, na-click ko na sana ang camera, and I would've had proof. Damn it.

"Tara na," Lian said, his voice cutting through my thoughts as he gently tugged my arm. Parang wala ako sa sarili na sumunod na lang sa kanya, still half-expecting to see Maki again when I turned back. But he was really gone.

As we walked toward the stage, I couldn't shake the feeling. Shit, nandito ba talaga siya? O baka naman imagination ko lang 'to? My mind was racing, and kahit anong pilit kong i-focus ang sarili ko, I just couldn't. Lian was talking beside me, pero halos wala akong naririnig.

My heart was beating too fast, my thoughts too scattered. Baka naman napagtripan lang ako ng utak ko. Or maybe, he was really here. And the thought na baka nandito siya made my heart ache in a way I wasn’t ready to deal with.

Pumunta kami sa may stage, at tama nga siya, kulang nga ang mga photographers doon. Labing lima lang kasi kami na nagcocover ng buong event, kaya kulang na kulang talaga.

Kinuha ko 'yong isang gimbal at nagsimulang kumuha ng videos para sa icocompile namin na school promotion video. Wala sa sarili akong kumukuha ng footage habang iniisip pa rin ang nakita ko kanina. I’m still contemplating if that was really him or not. Pero kung siya 'yon, bakit nandito siya sa school? He didn't even message me na nakauwi na siya sa Pinas. Kumirot ulit ang dibdib ko sa kaisipang hindi niya ako sinabihan.

But then again, it's impossible. He's got problems back in the States, so how could he have come back so soon? Yet a small part of me hoped he was really here. These feelings have been haunting me for week, and I can't help but wonder if seeing him again would put them to rest. But thinking about it makes me cringe. Why the fuck am I longing for his presence?

Gosh, epekto talaga 'to ng pangungulit niya sa akin from the last month. Damn you, Maki. I hate you! Huwag ka lang talaga magpapakita sa akin the next few days, if totoo mang nandito ka.