The Courtier

19

THE COURTIER
♡ Ugene ♡

I do not let father into my room, he would not be proud of the layout nor all of the pages of my hard work all over the floor, reminding me constantly of the lady who holds my obsession. I stand outside, gazing upon the night and the stars that have covered the darkened sky.

Feeling a presence behind me, I do not have to turn around to figure out who it is and when he sighs and aligns himself next to me, I tense that he is now close.

"You have outdone yourself, Ugene," he begins. I can feel his eyes lift over my being but I do not give him the slightest attention. "I have not seen you since you were just in the beginning of training for this duty. You have gotten so...muscular."

"Jaxson seems to have it all, but you, my son, are above the world. You do not have to have the world in your hands, but you are protecting it," he starts again, and I grind my teeth in annoyance at his words.

"Why are you here?" My voice is calm, I do not show him any reaction.

"I came to see my son, why are you being so hostile?" He turns, but I do wish to face what I see in the mirror every day.

"You saw me, now leave."

He breathes out an agitated breath. "My temper is slowly rising, son."

"So is mine," I bite back, glaring towards his being, finally eyeing him. He is taken aback by my harsh words, and realizes that I am not the same scared little boy anymore.

"Do not forget who made you. You are just like me, you are my seed, my son." He points his finger at me in accusation. He then settles down, blowing. "Do not treat me with such disrespect, I will not stand for it."

"What you spoke at dinner about the Queen and her courtier. Why? That was disrespectful and even I would never stoop that low to say," I ask aloud, wishing for an answer as to why he was embarrassing me. I never did anything to him, I always had done as he wished, became courtier for him, be the soldier as he once was. He made me like him.

"It is silly to think to have a friendship with someone who is below you. Jaxson is not your friend, no matter how many times he says it. He pities you, he does not truly care for you. Not like I do."

Here was the real William Chesire that I know.

We both grow quiet, and father looks out to the view and side eyes me. He places his hands inside his pockets as I place mine behind my back like normal.

"Have you found anyone?" He suddenly asks, then smirks. "I met your mother when I was working for Jaxson's father."

I know, then she left you and I because she could not take being beaten on. She couldn't even comprehend being the wife of a courtier because father was always about this life, his wife and children were second behind this job, that is a promise to myself that I would never treat a lady and our children that way. If the job came between the person I love and I then I would choose my wife over anything. That would mean I would leave my duty as the courtier.

Before you become courtier, you take an oath to never leave. It was either death or stay. You could not leave the kingdom whether you liked it not.

Have you found someone?

I have, and she will never have to feel the way you made me feel when I was a young boy. I was made into a machine soldier as my father used to call it. Everyone called me cruel for being so harsh on the guards I train, when really, I was much kinder from how I was raised. My type of training dealt with beatings everytime I messed up. My screams haunt me still, and I can see the younger version of myself sitting alone in an empty cell.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to ignore my screams as a child as father had whipped me so hard that my back had turned bloody, and I was stuck relieving the pain with alcohol and a cloth. They healed, of course, but the scars were imbedded into my skin, reminding every hit he had crossed my skin.

I call the man in front of me my father, but I have never learned the love from a father from this man. He makes me sick, and I can barely meet his gaze.

Josephine had to be dealt with delicately, I will never forgive myself if I had hurt her for being so rough with her. The monster that was hiding between my blue eyes that I recognize from my father's tries to escape through, not wishing to be gentle to Josephine, but never rough with her enough to have her frightened of me.

"No, I have not met someone. I am not looking neither."

He smirks. "That is my boy. It is not as exciting as everyone makes it to be. Once you get in between her legs, it gets boring after a while." How badly I wish to punch him in the face, but it would cause such gossip through the palace that I did not wish to seek forth.

I walk away instead, he scoffs at my reaction and I hear his footsteps near, but I am already pushing the door to enter the palace. Before I know it, I am bumping into a tiny being, and my hand catches onto the falling form, keeping her steady. The lady wears a black cloak, and she looks up with widened eyes, and father bumps into the backside of me, looking down in confusion.

"I am terribly sorry," Josephine apologises, and my jaw ticks when realizing she's not only apologising to me, but my father. No, never him nor me.

"Ugene," father starts and I know he is about to say something about the way I am holding onto the petite lady. My hands are off of her as if she burned me, and she gives me a hurt filled stare. I realize that she is going to the tree to meet so we can go to the shack tonight, and I swallow down the pain.

Father and I move alongside of Josephine and I can feel her eyes on the back of my head, father grabs my shoulder, whispering. "She is delightful to look upon." Moving my shoulder, I tug his hand off of me, my anger slowly rising and I force myself up the steps and into my room where I can finally escape the man whom tortues me.

That night I stayed awake knowing Josephine went to the tree, but I never went. I wondered if she went by herself, did she dance with someone else? My fist tightens, and I slam a pillow over my head in hopes of suffocating myself and not having to deal with my father in the near day to come.