The Courtier

30

THE COURTIER
♡ Josephine ♡

Blood.

My sister. Years were spent trying to fix what we were supposed to have, but my existence ruined that chance. This was now the time to patch what Beth and I have, and possibly have Beth visiting mother whom wishes to see her dearly.

But in return, I am losing the one thing I love most in the world. Ugene.

I am standing by the tree we always meet at to have our lessons together on the German language, waiting for the courtier to arrive any minute. Was I really going through with this? What is wrong with me?

I cannot help but to pace in front of the tree, gnawing at my fingernails, wishing for the ground to swallow me whole. My nerves have gotten the best of me at a time like this, and my breathing has been unstable. Perhaps, he will not show and I can have another day to think about this?

He will show because he always does.

Tears blind my vision and I can no longer see if he has arrived. Goodness, I am such a wreck and I caused this to be so complicated, I deserve this heartbreak.

Hands find my face, moving me to face him. He is here. No, he shouldn't be.

I blink away my tears, but he had already caught them. His smile fades quickly into a look of confusion and despair.

"You are crying, why?" He is quick to question me. "Has something happened?"

"No." I shake my head, smiling through the pain. "Everything is alright. I promise." Lie.

He squints his eyes at me to see through my lie, and that he does. "You are lying." He shakes his head, backing away from me and that is where I start to cry again. Harder.

He hurriedly touches me again, wrapping his arms around my being to comfort me. "Hey, hey, tell me."

"I am sorry," I apologize but he has no idea what I'm apologizing for.

He leans down, meeting my eyes. "Do not apologize to me, Josie. You know this."

"I know," I whisper.

He wipes my eyes, sharing a sweet smile. A smile I will soon miss when I have to tell him the news. The horrendous, nightmarish news I will unfold in front of him. A lie between my lips.

He tries leaning in for a kiss, but I turn my head and he backs up with furrowed brows. "Have I done something?"

No, but I am about to.

Beth comes to mind, and her dissatisfied look reminds me why I am still standing here.

"I-I have been h-hiding something from you." My heart is now slicing in half and will be left with nothing but an empty shell of a body. He nods for me to continue and tries touching me again, but I back away. "I am so sorry."

"What? What is it?" His words are soft, but they are quick because he is awaiting for my words that I am dreading to say.

"I-I have another lover." I await his reaction, and he stands there with no emotion. Say something. Please.

Laughter. Laughter fills the air, and my eyes follow the line of his smile that rings a laugh that anyone from the village could hear.

He tugs at his hair, nodding. "Good one, Josie." His laughter dies down when I do not laugh along with him, only crying more when realizing what I have done. He steps closer, his eyes reading through me and he tilts his head. "No."

I nod my head to confirm, biting my lower lip so I would not spit out the truth. The world grows dark, and so do his eyes that are filled with anger. Pure anger.