Sinful Habit (R-18 | COMPLETED)

HER

A/N: Here's Sister Lucille's point of view. My most-awaited pov. Enjoy!

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Lucille's POV:

When I was young, I hardly knew what true love meant. All I knew was a grandma's love for her granddaughter.

I witnessed how my parents were slowly drifting apart, seeing them falling out of love in front of me. I witnessed how they throw stuff to each other and... and hurting each other physically.

I have no siblings to share my pain with, and being the only child made me carry their failure as a parent. But maybe—my life wasn't that cruel because grandma had been always with me.

Before they could lay their hands on me, grandma took me out of that house I called... Hell.

And just like that, they went on with their lives without thinking they had a child.

"Gustong gusto ko maging madre noon, ngunit nalihis ako ng landas at hindi ko iyon pinagsisihan dahil nakilala ko ang iyong lolo, apo."

"Isn't that a sin, grandma? You were supposed to give your life to God. I don't get why you didn't regret loving someone. It's like you betrayed Him, grandma."

"Malalaman mo rin kapag nakilala mo na ang nakalaan para sa'yo," she said, smiling. "At kapag dumating ang panahon na 'yun, Lucille. Do the right thing—make the right decision."

Napabuga ako ng hangin matapos maalala ang pinag-usapan namin ni Lola. We had that conversation before she died due to a heart attack.

But her words had really struck me, that I had to give myself to the divine because I was too scared to commit a sin. I was too scared to fall in love with the wrong person.

I tried so hard to forgive my past and not to look back, but I'm a coward. I know I am. Up to this day, I'm still thinking how my life would be if my parents didn't separate.

And it's crazy to think that childhood trauma wasn't my fault, but it was my responsibility to heal.

They said that every person has a different path to take. But I felt like... everyday... Every day, it felt like I didn't really belong in my path. I wanted to have more, to feel more, and to see if there's any light at the end of my journey.

And to see if I did the right decision.

I was supposed to be in the prayer room right now, but instead I've been waiting here in the admin's office for a man—a stranger to me.

Napahinto ako nang maisulat ang salitang Ezekiel sa isang scratch paper. Masyado akong ginugulo ng utak ko ngayon. I was thinking about the verse on Luke, not on Ezekiel.

Kinuha ko na lang ang mga resume ng mga trabahador at tiningnan. A man named Ajax contacted me one week ago; he said they wanted to apply as a laborer, but I just couldn't say yes immediately. Mahirap na at baka ma-scam kami ulit. I let my guard down to some people, and that didn't do well on my part. I wasn't being judgmental, but I couldn't risk the money of the convent school, especially since we just got them in donations.

"Magandang gabi ho—"

Nagising ang diwa ko nang marinig ang hindi pamilyar na boses. Wala sa huwisyong nag-angat ako ng tingin, tila ba para bang bumagal ang paligid ko nang makita ang lalaking may mga maitim na mga mata.

He looks so manly... and hunk, I... I have never seen a fine man before.

"Magandang gabi rin." Kahit kumakabog man ang dibdib ay nagawa ko pa rin na tumugon sa kaniya. "Tuloy ka, dala mo ba ang credentials mo?"