BREAK 4 ME (CARRINGTON DIARIES 5)( Completed)

12-Letter to Banks Jr.

BANKS

Age 15

I sit down at my desk and start at the letter."What is this?"I say look up at dad.

"A letter your grandmother wrote to you the second she found out I was going to name you after her"."She left me and only me a letter?".

Mum nods her head and says"We've left it unopened until you turned of age so you can read it".

They both leave my room and I stare at the letter.Did I deserve to have this?
I clear my throat and open up the envelope and read it.

Dear Grandson,

My name is Banks Carrington.And I'm your grandmother.I know it may sound weird reading this but I fear that by the time you come of age I wouldn't be on this earth anymore.The second my little Knox told me that he was going to name you after me I was ecstatic.I was happy that my legacy would move down to my grandson.

The more and more I pondered about you having my name the more and more I felt uneasy.

I know what it's like having the Carrington name.Because when I was younger I hated my last name.i hate the royal lineage and titles that came with it.I hated the attention and gossip that came from it.And most importantly I hate the pressure I put myself through to make that name for myself. never in my life would I ever want my grandson to feel that same pressure and hardship that I felt.So let me tell you my story.

I  was raised in London my entire life.My mother died when I was young so it was just me and my twin brother Austin.At first I hated him.He was the best at everything and he never did anything wrong.I was the problem child of the family.

And when mom died everything in our family turned to poison.I shut everything down because it wasn't how I wanted it.My father started putting so much pressure on me to be the best Carrington that I could be.

All of the pressure and yelling and the constant fighting out a wreak on my mental health.One night I learned demons lay in the dark.And when I opened my eyes I realized that it was my father.

I looked so much like my mother.I sounded just like her.I had her confidence.And that was enough for my father to put in his mind that I was first wife who passed away.So he treated me like his wife in the dark and this daughter in the light.

No one knew what he did to me,not even Austin.My sunshine brother couldn't handle my darkness.He couldn't do anything about it.So I kept letting it happen.I thought at first I was helping my father move on from my mother.Help his mind mend a broken heart.

But little did I know that Robert Carrington was broken beyond repair.And this was only making him more broken.and it happened all the time until one day

I stopped It was the day before I moved to Callister Academy.I needed a fresh start.I needed to clear my head.

And once I entered Callister my head became empty and free.I was even able to meet the love of my life,Zoe, my freshman year at Callister.

Oh grandson I wish for you to find your true love when you see her.It was like butterflies riding in my stomach when I met her.

I wrote all of this to tell you that the media had pointed me out to be an angel.To be this generational prodigy that lead Callister to greatness.But at the end of the day,I am just a woman who wanted a education.a woman who wanted a group of friends to call a family.

And a woman who wanted a love so epic that could be told for generations.I could tell you the story about me and your grandmothers love story in this letter.But I'll have to save that for later.Actually if you do want to hear about it I recorded it on a voice recorder I gave to Jade during their wedding.Feel freee to ask her about it.

Banks be yourself.i know you will be amazing.And if you make some mistakes?Fuck it.Everyone makes mistakes it's what you do with those mistakes and what you learn from that's the most important.

I do wish I could've met you Banks Jr.Im sure you will grow up to be the most beautiful intelligent man I've ever seen.I am proud of you grandson.And always know that I will be here watching you and cousins do there best.

Remember don't strive for greatness,strive for happiness.Your grandmother Zoe taught me that lesson and I am forever indebted to her for it.I love you Banks Jr.And I always will.Be happy in your life and do what you love.

Love,
Banks Carrington

I stare at the end and realize that there were tears running down my face.I quickly sniffle and fold the letter up.My grandmother really was amazing.I smile softly.Okay grandma.Ill be happy just like you told me too