Chapter 44

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Trigger warning: mention of SA at the first part

~

... Nothing worth fighting for...

I leaned against the wall in the backyard, flicking my lighter and holding it up to my cigarette. The final year of high school had just begun, and with it came the dreaded realization that I'd have to endure another year of endless studying, navigating petty student drama, and all the other mind-numbing routines that came with it. Turning eighteen turned out to be a lot less exciting than I had imagined when a sense of monotony and fatigue began to wash over me. The novelty and thrill of last year had faded, leaving behind a sense of staleness. It felt as if I had already experienced all there was to offer.

Taking a deep puff, I exhaled slowly as my eyes scanned the group of idiotic classmates before me. Another guy was caught by them, probably a tenth-grader. Despite his struggles to get free, the younger kid was trapped against the wall by the two of them, allowing Yousef to have him first.

Disgusting bastards...

My gaze shifted to the sky as I took another puff of my cigarette; my head tilted back. The young boy's gasps mixed with sobs filled the air while Yousef was having fun with him. A wisp of smoke escaped my lips as I pondered finding another spot to smoke. 

"Hey! You! H-Hng... H-Help me!"

A desperate plea for help caught my attention, causing me to lazily turn my head towards the source of the voice.

"Why should I help you?" My stoic expression hardly concealed my indifference.

His eyes widened for a second as he breathed heavily, caught in Yousef's grasp. His hair and clothes were a complete mess, and his expression showed nothing but helplessness. Unable to answer my question, he grumbled in pain, pressing his palms and forehead against the wall while Yousef held him from behind.

Ugh... I feel like I'm getting a headache from how noisy they are.

I dropped my cigarette on the ground, crushing it beneath my shoe. "See? There's no reason for me to help you," I mumbled as I started walking away, my hands tucked into the pockets of my sweatpants.

As I passed by, Yousef released the younger boy and walked toward me, smirking with that ugly grin of his. "Don't you want to give it a try?"

I turned my head slightly, looking down at him. "I'm not a vulture like you."

"What did you say!?"

Ignoring Yousef, I walked away, letting out a huff.

I hate school because of losers like them...

~

"Help me. I'll do whatever you want..."

Nearly a month later, I found myself in the exact same situation, almost as if time had rewound itself. Everything felt eerily familiar, yet I made a different decision as I heard his pleas, my body moved on its own.

I stared at the unconscious blonde boy who had just transferred to our school, his head resting on my lap. I thought he was dumb... but he has some sense. I smirked. I'll play with him for a while since he reminds me of the little duck I once had.

I ran my fingers through his golden strands, bored from sitting there doing nothing. The first time I saw him, I assumed he had dyed his hair, but it seems it's really blonde given that the roots don't show any signs of a darker color. Glancing at his closed eyelids, I noticed that even his eyelashes were golden. I then slid my fingers along his face. Why is his skin so soft? I poked his left cheek with my index finger. When will he wake up, anyway? Should I just leave him here?

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