Myocardium

Part 23

Thursday morning, my initial peace of mind is immediately diminished by the thought of college and the nights that'll follow. I get out of bed, wishing I didn't need to. 

Sometimes, the urge to stay in bed is probably as appealing to me as that apple was to Eve.

Hmm, if only I could keep napping away all my anger and sorrow. 

But there's no other option. 

I have to stay strong. 

For them. 

As I'm standing in the kitchen and wait for the tea-water to boil, I begin contemplating my life choices all over again. Mindlessly, I reach for my wrist and gently run my thumb over the two little beads on my bracelet. My arm hurts, plus, moving it too much reminds me of what happened yesterday. 

Oh yeah, that's another matter I have to deal with today, which is absolutely daunting to even think about.

While my thoughts drift off into the abyss and beyond, I don't even notice that my little brother has walked into the kitchen and shows utter concern for the state I'm in – barely blinking and completely lost in thoughts. 

"Eli, are you...okay?", he speaks up and waves his hand in front of my eyes, pulling me back into reality. To battle the dryness in my eyes, I blink aggressively and respond,
"Yeah, just...super tired. Do you need something?"

"Not really, I just wanted to ask if I can meet Mara on Saturday afternoon?" he asks confidently and elicits a mild chuckle from me, fully aware of my surroundings again,
"That depends on what her parents say about that and where you'll meet her."

"Well, her mom agreed to take us to the autumn-festival that's currently in town, so they're cool with it. They say if you agree, they'd come pick me up around 1 p.m. and drop me off again by 6," he smiles cheekily, shrugging his shoulders doing so.

"Alright, sure. As long as you promise me to behave, of course you can go. I'll be busy with grocery shopping anyways, plus if I can count on you to be back by 7, it's all good," I explain and make sure to remind him not to mess with my made-up curfew. 

"Thanks, Eli. You're the best," my little brother giggles happily. If there's any opportunity for me to make my siblings' life a bit more normal, you bet I'm taking every single one of them.

As we're having breakfast, Daisy makes both Sasha and I laugh by how adorably she's trying to remember a story her teacher has told her, but boldly messing up and making up a whole new story that absolutely makes no sense whatsoever.

By the time I arrive on campus, my positivity is dwindling, this time completely, all the way until not a trace of it is left within me. 

As I watch all these peers of mine enter the various buildings, I audibly groan and wish I could just leave right here, right now. 

I mean, I have a good reason for my lack of will. 

The fact that someone almost killed me willingly yesterday makes that only more apparent than it would have been without this little 'incident'. 

The fear from yesterday comes back once I'm walking through the hallways, where people are blocking my way everywhere. 

They're staring at me, too. 

Words must have gone around about what has most likely been found in that study room.

Or Ben has already spread the word to all his worshipping dolls. 

Maybe my best shot is to pretend to be dead and haunt the school as the demon that's been released while was being murdered so gruesomely.

Even though that's sadly not the case, some people are looking at me in utter shock and terror as I walk through the common area towards one of the large lecture halls, where my first class of the day is assigned to take place.