Myocardium

Part 25

After coming home, I immediately slip into some more comfy clothes that include Rafael's hoodie and decide to take a short nap so I can survive the upcoming day at college.

After having breakfast, I help Daisy pack her bag since she's a bit late today, but it's okay, no damage done. Once my siblings have left the flat, I look at my phone and notice the lack of new messages I'm very much used to.

I think about it for a brief moment, but end up texting Rafael. I want to text him. The only question is: What am I going to text him? Good one. I eventually come to the conclusion to simply text him the most generic thing I can think of. 

'Hey, I don't mean to bother you, just figured I'd let you know I really appreciated last night's talk :)' is the message I type into the text-bar and dispatch to him.

His response, I only read it once I arrive at school. It says 'Don't worry, you're never bothering me. So did I though, it's always nice talking to you :)'. When I scan the notification on my screen, I let out an audible, content sigh. I never knew having a friend can be so nice.

And even though he may only know a tiny part of my life and I know no more than the same about his, simply knowing that he is even willing to talk or listen to me and gives me the feeling of being genuinely invested too has helped me tremendously already. It almost seems surreal to me to think someone might actually appreciate my existence.

As I arrive at our 'lovely' classroom, I instantly happen to notice Ben's face deforming in fury. I should have known better than to live in the oblivion that walking right past him is a good idea, since he grabs my wrist and pulls me down to him to prove me of the opposite.
"We're not fucking done yet, faggot", Ben hisses grossly close to my ear.

"You're right, you've got so much worse ahead of you, motherfucker", I spit back and rip my arm out of his tight grip and walk to the back of the room, where I take my seat. Of course, my arrival is met with the utmost disrespect and a welcoming gift from my fellow fucking classmates.

It's a drawing. A professional-looking drawing. What's portrayed is me, hung up on a tree, with my wrists slit and a kicked-over chair underneath my legs, which are dangling off the branch together with the rest of my body. Underneath my lifeless corpse, there is a puddle of blood that stains the grass and the little stool, as well as some barely remarkable razor blades. You get the gist of it, the message couldn't be any clearer than this.

Seeing this painting of myself is honestly quite unsettling, it looks freakishly realistic. Whoever drew that has some mad drawing skills, regardless of how awful the theme of this one is. At the bottom of the paper, there are some words scribbled down with a pencil. Not only random words though, those words are brutal enough to make me forget the initial massage of the drawing at an instant.

I let myself sink onto my chair as I read the words that have been written. With the very moment  my brain comprehend the written cruelty, my blood immediately runs cold, and my stomach turns over.

"Finally joining my parents in hell."
These gruesome words torture my mind, they make me want to throw up. Anything, literally ANYTHING else would have been bearable, everything but this. Under the table, I clench my fist and push down the urge to stab the fuck out of Ben with force. He would deserve it, for all I know

No, I never planned on letting anyone know about what happened, for exactly the reason of them using it against me. But about half a year ago, there was this dumb fucking professor of mine, who briefly cut into the topic of parental guardians and gave one unwanted hint too many, so thanks to him, the flawed bastard I am has yet again unravelled another target point. Some additional digging on the 'accident' gave them enough of a solid baseline to make up their stupid minds about my family. Great!