Myocardium

Part 32

As I am mindlessly flicking the little blue rubber band against my wrist and thinking about way too many things all at once, Raf's soft, deep voice pulls me back into reality,
"It's okay to struggle, you know. It's okay to cry too. Nobody is going to be disappointed in case you fall back into old habits, recovery isn't just a straight road up. Just hang in there, okay? I'll do everything I can possible do to help you in whatever way you need me to, I promise."

"Thank you so much, Raf. Damnit, I've been saying 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' so often, can you even still believe me? I just don't know how else I can express my appreciation and gratitude for everything you do with words," I chuckle in light embarrassment.

"Oh, don't worry, I can tell when people are genuine about what they're telling me. It's kind of what I'm trained to do" Raf exclaims and grants me a warm smile.
"You're a good person, Elijah."

"Look who's talking now," I give back and go for the hug I want to never end, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and resting my chin on them. Wow, I enjoy hugging him way too much for my own good.
"Also, you smell really nice," I add under soft laughter.

"Oh, you think so? Well, thank you. I can only return the compliment though, I'm digging your perfume," he replies with a sweet, heartful chuckle, I can feel his chest pulsate as he laughs.
"By the way, you are a very good hugger. Man, if I could, I would never stop hugging you. You're like this...adorable fucking little teddy bear, I just want to...ugh," he adds and tightly pulls me towards him, making my face burn up as I wasn't expecting this. His words are so genuine and adorable. Well, now I know now that the feeling is mutual. At least in this exact moment we're in right now, it feels like it is.

"Well, good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I was afraid it's strange for me to enjoy hugging you so much," I mumble truthfully and slightly ease the grip around his neck so I won't accidentally strangle him. His strong arms, I can feel them loosen around my back as well. As I rest my head on the backrest, very close to his one, he tells me, looking directly into my eyes,
"Don't worry, you're not being strange for that. Not at all, in fact. And even if, I like you just the way you are anyways, so it's alright to be a little weird. That just makes you even more perfect if you ask me."

Raf shrugs his shoulders. His eyes, they are so beautiful. Suddenly, my heart begins beating faster. In a good way this time. I can feel my face burn up and I know exactly that he can see it too. Shyly, I break the eye-contact and look down, attempting to blink away the shyness, unsuccessfully. 

"What?", Raf asks me softly and refuses to take his gaze off me as I begin shifting around and becoming visibly uneasy. The way his body is so incredibly close to mine and how he still softly holds me is overwhelming, but not necessarily in a bad way. It's insane how he can make me feel so down and then so high within such a short span of time.

"You are so unfair," I complain mockingly and try my best to pout at him, failing miserably. I am in a strange mood tonight. Plus I definitely need some sleep.
"Oh, yeah? What makes you say that?", Raf chuckles and gently squeezes my waist, making my face turn an even darker shade of red. 

"Staaaahhhhhp. I swear, you're going to make me melt," I protest his actions and smile, placing my hand on his jaw to run my thumb over his cheek to mock his playful sweetness. This motion of mine does stop him. Completely. If not it even startles him. 

Against my fingertips, I can feel his soft skin that is covered by some soft micro-hairs on his cheek and some beard-stubble on his jaw, that is shaven and completely invisible. I like the rough feeling of it, it contrasts his soft skin amazingly. And his lips, they look so soft and perfect. As I'm looking at him so intensely, I notice the little birthmark on his cheek, that makes him even more perfect and unique in my eyes. Carefully, I tuck a strand of hair behind his ear and keep my hand there instead, in his amazingly soft hair.