Myocardium

Part 24

 As 'confident' and 'joyful' as ever, I strut back into the lounge, where I'm welcomed with whistles and catcalls all-round. Before tending to anyone's deepest, darkest fetishes and fantasies, I need to talk to Rafael. The problem is just that I have to do it in a believably seductive way, or my boss might get suspicious of me not doing my job too well and I'm not willing to risk that. 

Even for someone like him, I cannot let my guard down, nor can I allow myself to lose the focus of what I am actually here for. As my eyes spot him, my stomach turns over. He looks absolutely furious. With my smile not losing its confidence, I walk over to the bar and take a seat on the barstool next to him.

"Hey there", he sighs, sounding more concerned than I've ever seen him be before.
"Hello, Sir", I greet him formally and receive a confused expression from him.
"Uhm...Sir?", he repeats my words, seemingly surprised by my change in attitude from what he knows. Yeah, I'll talk to him, just not with our boss around, who's sitting mere feet away from us. In a fake-flirty way, I rest my head on my arm and look at him with a physically painful smile on my face. Raf's expression isn't getting any softer, at all.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on here? Are you okay?", he asks desperately and tries to get me back to be the real me, not the version I'm pretending to be right now. My eyes are all red and teary, I know he can see it, the look on his face says it all. To initiate speaking with him alone, in private, I lean closer to him and quietly whisper into his ear so nobody else can hear what I'm saying.

"I'll tell you. Can you just...do me a favour and follow me, please?"
Without another word from him, his expression softens, and he gets up when I do, giving me a reassuring nod. I have a plan so morally wrong that it might work perfectly. With Rafael walking behind me closely, I lead him to one of the sofas that is in view of everyone, but a bit further to the side of the room, so they can't hear us talk.

With a fake grin on my face, I sit down on the nasty leather again. Raf takes the hint and does the same, sitting a bit distantly and eyeing me with a serious expression. I can feel how people continue glaring at us.
"It's alright, I'll tell you everything once we're alone. Can you just...please not freak out right now?", I whisper to him and place my hand on his thigh, clearly making him suspicious about my intentions.

"You know it hurts, right? Watching you suffer like that", he speaks quietly and checks so nobody is listening. His words are calm, but his voice sounds like it's about to break.

"I'm sorry, I have no other option here", I admit my shame. Hurting him was never my plan. 

"Why are you doing this to yourself?", he sighs and looks right through my eyes. I can tell it upsets him, even though I may never truly understand why he cares so much about what is happening to me in here.
"I'm sorry, Raf", I respond and, for only a moment, let him see my real face again, before putting the fake, smiling mask back on.

"Damnit, I really need you to touch me, we have an audience. Please?", I request under a semi-psychotic laugh as I feel our boss' eyes lingering on my back. Not having the patience to wait for Raf's confusion to be expressed through words, I take action and get up from my seat for a second, so I can instead risk everything and sit down on his lap, clearly freaking him out a bit. In utter shock and surprise, he makes sure to keep his beautiful hands away from my body in order not to hurt me. An expression of guilt forms on his face, but I shake my head and smile.

"It's okay, I trust you", I whisper, before carefully grabbing his wrists and directing his hands in the direction of my waist. Eventually, he seems to catch on to the fact that this is all about catching people's attention and plays along, leaning back and gazing at me with the most attractive, persistent stare as if meant to say a thousand things at once.