Myocardium

Part 11

My mind comes to consciousness again in an eerily alright state as I wake up somewhen between five and six. Sleeping's made everything a lot better. The hot shower I take as the measly act of self-care I manage to do this early in the morning really does help with the everlasting tiredness too. 
"Morning, Daisy. It's time to get up," I gently speak to my little sister as I swiftly draw her curtains. 

While Daisy stretches out her limbs and yawns tiredly, I sit down by the edge of her bed and place the back of my hand against her forehead again.

"How're you feeling?" I ask quietly as she rubs her tired eyes, letting me conduct my examination without any protest.
"I'm a bit better, Eli. Thanks," she mumbles, sounding a bit more lively than last night.

"Do you think you can go to school, or do you want to stay home today?" I question and get up from her mattress, using my hands as support to do so. My little sister sits up too and giggles cheerfully, "I want to go to school, please. I feel okay now."

"Alright then. But if anything happens or you start feeling sick again, you tell your teachers to call me, okay? They can reach me anytime," I instruct her and eventually leave her room to carry on with our morning routine.

"Hey Eli, can you sign this for me?" Sasha comes running to me not long after we've had breakfast, shortly before they need to leave. It's his test, he's done very well. "Sure thing", I tell him, sign the paper and teasingly pat his head, to his dismay.

Now, the whole ordeal starts all over again. Get in the car. Drive to campus. Sit in the parking lot for an unreasonable amount of time just to avoid the inevitable. Enter this absurdly bleak building. Throughout all of this, I'm shaking heavily, my legs feel both heavy and restless at the same time. On my way to the first class I'm attending, I stop in the hallway for a second to stare out the window. Something about the view draws me to it, the scenery has something nostalgic about it. The days are getting colder and the trees are slowly but surely losing their lives. 

It'll be a long, cold winter this year. 

I just know it will.

The fog is lingering over the bleak town like an intangible cotton blanket. In my peripheral vision, I notice somebody walking straight towards me. I've noticed some students following me with their eyes, but I haven't exactly bothered finding out what they're up to yet. My brief glance to the side only reveals that it's not the person I fear seeing in this damn place. 

Since I'm not usually the most social of all butterflies, a frown flashes on my face as a rather familiar face shows up next to me, leaning against the window sill by which I'm standing. 

Goosebumps crawl up my spine, slowly, but I am not budging from where I'm standing. 

I know him. 

From next to me, the sleazy Senior student raises his malicious tone at me, speaking in a fake-flirty manner while making sure the audience he has brought along can hear each and every word of our one-sided interaction. 
"How much for twenty minutes, babe?"

With a more than baffled look on my face, I simply stand there and freeze, letting him slip me twenty bucks without any protest. Ben, by now, is standing uncomfortably close to me and leers at me with an expression I regret not being able to pinpoint.  

As some people around us begin giggling and whispering, he turns around and shouts "Or isn't that how you like it, whore?" loudly through the hallway as he's walking away from the scene, angrily. All while I stand here, by this damn window, in absolute disbelief, with 20 dollars in my hand and my mouth dropped open. 

There are a thousand words I want to say, a thousand questions I need to ask, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

Absolutely nothing.