You've ruined me;

i see how it is

This poem/rant to myself is an old one i wrote while in a situationship. It's over now and i've decided to post it because i like it more now.

(4/21/2024)

i see how it is.
i'm the last option to my own bf.

it's fine. i know you value ALL of your friends over me both in person and even more online.
how do you think i feel?
when i told you that i put my ONE best friend first you got mad
how do you justify that?

you value your friends so much that you won't even respond to any of my texts

i SEE how it is.
you're fucking active on discord
and you won't even tell me that ur busy.

you just ignore me.
and make your excuses.
"i need space this weekend."
ur online with your friends though.
what is with this bullshit?

kind of funny to know that u are THAT easy to read.
you rather talk to her than me bc i'm THAT boring.
i see how it is.

you look better together with her anyway.
why don't u just tell me the truth instead of taking advantage of the last of what we have.

i wouldn't be surprised if you suddenly just announced that u rather be with her
she'll fix you!

it's almost like i stayed even after you threatened to kill yourself on multiple occasions
even after you treated me like a total slut and got mad when i tried to encourage you to continue

it's sickening waiting hours and hours for you just to text something. ANYTHING.
and then all i get is the letters "gn"

you say u love me but u also say u want space and go call ur friends
like do you want me or not?