The best man

Chapter 1

I was getting ready to leave, grabbing my coat and heading to the bathroom one last time to fix my face before going back to my place. Shelly appeared at the door with a sad expression. It didn't help. She had betrayed me by keeping something so important from me. Was I even a real friend to her? Why hadn't she told me? Yes, I would've been upset that Conor had found someone else—of course I would have. But hadn't I earned the right to know the truth?

She's pregnant, but does that excuse her brushing this off and hiding it from me? Maybe she thought it would be better for me to face reality on my own. Maybe she thought I needed to see for myself that Conor never loved me the way I loved him.

All these years, I told myself we had something real, something special, because of the way we acted together. Was I deluding myself? Was I a fool?

I need to talk to my therapist. I can't deal with this alone.

"Are you feeling better?" Shelly asked, standing at the door.

"You kept something huge from me, Shelly. Do you really think I'll be fine?" I said, still fixing my makeup in the mirror.

"I'm sorry, Lily," she sighed. "I didn't want to get involved in this mess. Yes, I should've told you, but I wanted you to see it for yourself, to accept the reality. Conor isn't right for you. James and I knew about Anne from the very beginning. He said he fell for her the moment he saw her, and I asked him... what about you?"

I needed to know.

"What did he say?" I asked. I already knew the answer deep down, but I needed to hear it.

"He said you two were just friends from the start. Yes, there was affection, maybe feelings on his side, but that's all it ever was. He said he appreciated your company, your warmth, but he never saw a relationship with you..."

That broke me.

I wish he'd been honest from the beginning. I wish he'd told me to move on, to find someone who loved me back. I wish he'd pushed me away, made room for me to find real love. But instead, I was just a placeholder—someone to fill the space until he found the real thing. I was the teddy bear he hugged when he was lonely, the dog he walked when he needed companionship. I was nothing but a dream he never planned to fulfill.

Eight years of friendship wasted. Eight years of hoping. Eight years of being used.

How fabulous.