The best man

Chapter 10

I spend the whole night crying, clutching my pillow, my mind racing with a single thought: **"How could I be so stupid? How could I let this happen to me again?"** The tears won't stop as I mutter to myself, **"Why do I always end up like this? Why does this keep happening to me?"**

My phone buzzes on the nightstand, but I don't move. I know it's him. Hours later, I finally grab it and see a message from Ethan: **"Hey, how are you doing?"**

I stare at the message, my chest tight. I want to reply, to tell him I'm not okay, but I can't bring myself to type a single word. Instead, I drop the phone back down and bury my face into my hands.

More time passes. My phone buzzes again. This time, his message reads: **"Is everything okay?"**

I don't reply. My heart feels like it's breaking all over again, and I can't deal with him right now. He even tries to call, and the sound of the ringing fills the silence of my apartment. I don't pick up. I just... can't.

Another message comes in: **"Did I do something wrong? Please, Lily, let's talk. I just want to fix whatever's going on."**

I hold the phone, staring at the words. **"Fix it?"** I whisper to myself. **"How can we fix it when everything feels broken?"** I sigh, turning my phone off completely, desperate to shut it all out.

Hours later, in the middle of the night, a loud knock breaks the silence. My heart leaps as I hear Ethan's voice outside my door.

"Lily... please open the door." His voice is soft, but I can hear the worry in it.

I stand there, frozen behind the door. My hand hovers over the handle, trembling. **"What do I even say?"**

"I know you're there," Ethan says, his voice pleading. "I can see your reflection through the little window."

I press my forehead against the door, struggling to breathe. He continues, "Lily, I don't know what's going on, but please... talk to me. Why are you ignoring me?"

I bite my lip, tears welling up again. **"How do I even begin to tell him? What if I'm wrong... but what if I'm not?"**

Minutes pass. He keeps pleading, his voice full of frustration and hurt. "Lily... please. I just need to know what's going on. I'm here, waiting."

I stand there, listening to him, my heart aching with every word he says. **"I can't face him. Not right now,"** I think to myself.

Eventually, his voice grows quieter. "Please... just say something," he whispers, and I can hear the defeat in his voice.

But I remain silent, my hand never reaching the handle.

After what feels like hours, I hear his footsteps finally retreat down the hall. He's leaving. I slide down to the floor, burying my face in my hands again, overwhelmed by the wave of emotions. **"I've lost him. Just like I lost everything before."**

And with that, the sobs return, echoing through the empty apartment as I sit alone, wondering if I've just let go of the only good thing in my life.