The best man

Chapter 11

I messed up. I let a man who loved me go, and I can't shake the feeling that I've ruined everything. I should have told him how I felt instead of just walking away. The fear consumed me, twisting my thoughts into knots. I was too scared to confront him with my feelings, thinking he would leave me first, just like Conor did. But I was wrong all along.

"I thought he would hurt me," I say through my tears, each word laced with regret. "I thought he'd turn out to be just like Conor, but he wasn't. Ethan was different; he cared about me. I was so blinded by my insecurities that I couldn't see it." My heart aches as I recall all the moments we shared—his laughter, his kindness, the way he made me feel safe. "I let the ghost of my past haunt me and ruin my present. Why didn't I give him the chance he deserved?"

As the realization sinks in, I feel a wave of anger wash over me. "I should have trusted him. He never gave me a reason to doubt him. Instead, I let my fears control me. I pushed him away when all he wanted to do was love me." The bitterness of that truth stings like a slap to the face, and I can't help but berate myself. "How could I have been so foolish? I let the best thing in my life slip right through my fingers."

I close my eyes, envisioning his smile, his warm embrace, and the way he always seemed to know how to make me laugh. "He was everything I ever wanted, and I just let him go." I clutch my hair in frustration, feeling the tears continue to fall. "What was I thinking? I thought by keeping my distance, I'd protect myself, but I only ended up hurting us both."

With each realization, the weight on my chest grows heavier. "Now I'm left with nothing but this unbearable ache. I should have fought for him. I should have told him I loved him. Instead, I let fear dictate my choices, and now I'm terrified that I'll never get the chance to make it right." I wipe my tears with the back of my hand, feeling the overwhelming sadness threaten to drown me. "I am sorry ! I am so stupid !"