I didn't fully agree with what James said. Yelling out my feelings won't make them disappear. It's going to take time for me to move on from this. But I didn't want to tell him that. I've already lost Conor, and even though we haven't talked in days, I can't bear the thought of losing James and Shelly too. They're still my friends, after all.
"I'm not sure I want to be his best man," I admitted, trying to hold back the tears. "It'll just remind me how worthless I was to Conor."
"You're not worthless, Lily," James said firmly. "You matter to all of us. I understand how much it hurts. Honestly, I would suggest cutting him off, but... if you do that, it's not just him you'll lose. It's all of us. And I can't pick sides here. I don't think any of us can."
His words made my mind go numb. I couldn't think straight. He was right — he couldn't choose sides, but I had to. On one hand, I didn't want to lose my friends. But on the other, I couldn't afford to lose myself.
"I think you need to take a few weeks for yourself," James added. "There's a meeting for the wedding — for the best man, maid of honor, all the preparations. Conor asked if you could come. You don't have to talk to Anne, but she'll be there."
Maybe two weeks to myself was what I needed. Time to heal, see my therapist, maybe even meet new people. I had to find some way forward.
"Okay," I whispered, barely audible.
As James stood to leave, he hugged me, and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.
"It's okay, Lily," he said softly, holding me tight. "We're here for you. We're all here for you."
He may not have the right words, but I appreciated the comfort in his presence. Some things he said felt true, even if they couldn't heal everything.
YOU ARE READING
The best man
ChickLitLily and Conor have been inseparable since their university days, bound by a deep friendship that has weathered the test of time. While Conor appreciates Lily's presence in his life and the comfort of their relationship, he remains oblivious to the...
