𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐢 | ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ꨄ︎ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘᴜᴅᴇɴ

Purpose?

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(A/N: This chapter and the last three of PART ONE will be rewritten into first point of view to avoid any confusions regarding Kazumi's name. It'll better prep me for PART TWO when I write it out in first person {with possibility of third pov})

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I'm laying in a puddle of nothingness. Darkness stretches all around me, the same void from all of my nightmares. I don't try to wake up. I don't try to do anything.

This bleakness embeds in me. A cold sensation of the black floor beneath me. I can't tell what it is. Maybe it's my mind. Perhaps my state of deep thoughts I always enter has been dipped in slick oil.

I don't care anymore. As long as I don't wake up. I can't wake up. I'd rather stay here with this elephant sitting on my chest than wake up to a world without him.

A world without Uncle. My grandfather. My father figure. My mentor. The last relative I had. The first person my small hands touched and the last person I saw.

Bitterness resides in me, festering into what feels like insanity. I couldn't do anything. But I could replay the moments with ease, and no matter how hard I looked for that loophole, there was nothing. 

Sakon drugged me, I confirmed within this endless blackness. He had done so the second his arm suspiciously wrapped around my shoulder in false friendliness. That spinning world... If I hadn't of been so weak...

All those long years of training under Uncle's wing, all for naught. I must have betrayed him in a sense. I dread to think the outcome as I wallow in this self-pity of mine. Because deep down, I knew nothing would've really changed.

I am back to becoming this incomplete puzzle. Incapable of expressing everything and nothing that begs to burst out of me.

Oh, well. Minutes, hours, days, years could go past right now and I wouldn't care.

"I'll kill him." My thoughts echo around me and the void, as it always does. "killhimkillhimkillhim—KILLHIMKILLHIMKILLHIM —" Still on the ground, I'm arching my back, out of breath.

There's a strain in my chest, like a hand gripping my heart. The thunderous beating creates a harmony around these ceaseless thoughts that continue to seep out of my head and echo all around me. It's wild and callous and utterly distraught all into one. 

And then it all stops. I feel my blood run cold. It's like I'm dying. My eyelids are heavier, and my eyes lose focus. There's nothing to focus on in this blackness yet I still try.

Because I'm dying. And maybe, just maybe... a small part of me wants to live. Even if it's as small as a pea against this void.

"Suki," A soft, cowering voice of a woman hums into me. I'm seconds away from losing all my senses to death. "Suki, wake up." The distortion of the desperate voice made it hard for me to recognise it.