UNWANTED DEVOTION

I WILL HURT HER TO, I AM GONNA HURT HER

(Kian as a child)

When I was five, Mom and Dad brought a girl home, telling me that she was my wife. I looked at that small baby curiously, and then something bloomed inside my heart—not a very good feeling, but something dangerous. When my mom told me she was born to be mine, I repeated her words: "This little girl is mine..."

I used to sit across from her every day whenever the maid fed her. I watched her crawl for the first time and then take her first steps. Each day, she grew up, and my feelings for her grew too—feelings of possession. Whenever someone would come to take her, I would follow that person, staring at them with nothing but anger. And why not? My dad had taught me to keep my things as mine always.

But I never got close to her. I never touched her, and I never talked to her because I was scared that I would hurt her. But then one day...

Dad asked me to hold her. I gulped slowly, taking small steps toward her, and Dad saw my hesitation. He chuckled and then looked at me before asking, "What happened?"

"What if I hurt her?" I replied, and he arched his eyebrow at me.

"Well, Kian, she is yours to hurt," he said.

I looked at him, tilting my head in confusion. He came toward me and knelt down, his eyes meeting mine. He pointed his finger toward Crystal, who was in Mom's lap, and said, "She is yours to hurt. She is Kian Blackwell's property. You can do anything with her... and remember, only you can."

I nodded my head after listening to those words and repeated them, letting my dad know that I would remember. He smirked and patted my head before getting up.

...

After that, she became mine and mine alone. I started talking to her, telling her that she was mine again and again, even when she couldn't understand my words.

I began playing with her, taking her in my lap, caressing her short hair, kissing her forehead and cheeks. She was squishy and cute. I started to shout at everyone who tried to come close to her. My anger increased; I became possessive. Whenever she made a mistake, I would tell Mom and Dad to punish her.

And then she started kindergarten. I wasn't happy. I wasn't ready to let her go anywhere, but Mom and Dad decided it. I told them she would study only in my school, and they agreed.

She was four, and I was nine at that time. It had already been a month when I learned from my friend that she had made a friend.

I was waiting for the break to start, and when it did, I ran outside just to see her playing on the slide with her so-called fucking little friend. My friends walked alongside me, and when we reached there, I saw her with him, and I couldn't hold back...

How could she? There can be no one in her life besides me.

I didn't even know when so much anger started bubbling inside me, and I began punching the boy mercilessly. I wasn't afraid of anyone, not even the teachers. My anger kept coming back whenever I heard her cry for that little boy.

I hated it. Until everything stopped—the boy closed his eyes and lay on the ground, his every movement ceasing. I could hear Crystal's cries again and again, and then that too stopped.

My head quickly turned toward her. When I found her like that, my heartbeat stopped for a moment. I shouted her name again and again. I quickly picked her up and took her inside the class. I told my guard to call Dad.

Dad came and picked us up from the class, where he learned everything. Not for even once did he shout or scold me; he said he was proud.

He made Crystal sleep on the bed while I just stood there looking at her. The doctors came and checked her health, and I took a breath of relief when Dad told me she would wake up soon.

....

Time kept passing as I focused on my studies when she walked into the hall, running toward me with her little soft feet, crying. To be honest, I loved that sight, and a smile spread across my lips. But then she threw her hands toward me, and that's when I frowned. Before I could do anything...

My mom held her and slapped her hard before starting to take her toward the dark room.

I smirked and whispered, "You deserve it, Crystal. You shouldn't have done that."

...

"You have to go to Italy, Kian..." Dad said.

"I don't want to..." I replied.

But his one stern gaze made me lower my head.

"You have to," he said coldly, and I nodded my head before asking, "What about her?"

"She is yours and will always be yours, Kian. I will keep her just for you..." he answered, and I nodded my head before saying, "But I want something..."

He smirked before asking, "What is it?"

"She won't go anywhere from now on. I don't want anyone close to her," I said, and he chuckled before letting out a small, "Yes..."

.