UNWANTED DEVOTION

UNEXPECTED...

"I forgive you, Kian. Stop crying, please."

Few minutes passed, and his crying stopped, yet some heavy breaths and begging were still there...

"I am sorry..." he said, taking a deep breath to control his emotions, and I whispered,

"It's okay..." He hummed and slowly pushed himself away from my neck, looking at me with those desperate eyes. He slowly made me sit on the couch which was in the corner by gently pulling my hand, and I let him do it. Once I got seated, he sat on his knees, still grabbing my hand, and started kissing them again and again. His tears started again, smudging on my hand, and I took a deep sigh before caressing his hair.

"Kian..." I whispered, and he looked up, meeting my eyes... and something broke inside me after seeing that face. He looked so broken with red teary eyes, so vulnerable, and my eyes teared up...

"Shh... Birdy, don't cry..." he said and caressed my face, and I quickly pulled his face near my stomach, hugging him while he desperately rubbed it against my stomach.

"I am sorry... I didn't know what came over me, but I promise I will never hurt you again. I promise I will be a good husband. I will try, Crystal, I promise to make everything good again. I am sorry I hurt you, I am sorry... I love you, Crystal, I love you so much, so please love me too, love me too... I have no one else besides you..."

I cried out loud after hearing that—why is he so bad and so good at the same time... we both cried our hearts out. I was overwhelmed with everything that had just happened in one day, and Kian was—I don't know, I couldn't guess...

We were in the car. My one hand was in Kian's grasp; he kept caressing it while driving with the other. His eyes were darted on the road, and mine were on him. I had so many questions, and maybe I had answers too, that's why I couldn't say a word. After what had happened in the office, Kian became silent—too silent, and I wasn't liking it a bit...

He was looking broken right now. I wanted to ask what had happened, but whatever happened today also seems to be a reason I didn't even want to remember again...

We reached home, Kian opened the door, and took me inside while still holding my hand. Once we were inside our room, he picked me up like a koala and sat on one of the swinging chairs with me on him. His hand kept caressing my waist, while his other hand was trembling slightly. His head was pushed against my neck, taking deep breaths, while his lips were gently touching my skin.

When I saw his hand trembling, I couldn't hold back and held his hand.

"Kian..." I whispered softly, and he didn't say anything but rubbed his face against my neck.

"What happened..." I asked again, and this time his hold tightened around me. I knew something was wrong...

I pulled myself away from him, but he desperately pulled me back.

"No, don't go..." he said, and I whimpered, seeing him in pain and suffering.

"Then please tell me, Kian, what happened..." I said while caressing his head.

And he mumbled something against my neck, which I couldn't hear, but when I did, it shocked me.

"No... mo...re... Mom... Dad... is no... m..ore... th..ey l..eft me, no... m..ore... th..ey are... no... m..ore..."

My hand stopped at that moment, my eyes went wide, and suddenly I couldn't even breathe...

Just like that... they are no more. I should feel happy or even sad, but I felt nothing. It was so sudden... What does he mean "no more"? How can they die, how can it happen? Kian was still in my hold, clutching my cardigan. I wanted to push him away just to gather my emotions, but I couldn't... he was sad...

So I sat there, giving him a shoulder to cry on numbly, my eyes just staring outside at the sky blankly...

My hand kept caressing his hair slowly.

"I... was in... the offic...e when I... got... to kn...ow, I wan...ted us to go... back... th...en I... suddenly h..ea...rd th...em talking ab...out yo...u and suddenly all... th..at happened. I hu...rt yo...u..."

"I didn't want to, I swear..." he said while crying and trembling in my arms, and I didn't say anything. I tightened my hold around him, providing the warmth and support to him. Yes, he was wrong, but I have forgiven him, and now, after hearing this, nothing mattered to me besides him.

"It's okay... shh, it's okay, hubby, please stop crying... please stop..." I kept saying, trying to soothe him.

"Kian, please," I said again, and he started taking deep breaths against my neck, trying to stop those painful cries.

"I am sorry..." he whispered and placed his lips on my neck.

I shuddered at his touch and said, "Shh, it's okay, it's fine, hubby, it's fine..."

Once he stopped crying, he broke the hug and placed his head on my lap, wrapping his arms around my waist, his face toward my stomach...

My hand reached for his hair, caressing it slowly... His head felt hot, and I knew he was burning with a fever, but right now, I didn't know what to say...

"I don't want to see them like that..." he whispered, and I heard it clearly...

"But you have to..." I replied, and he hummed.

There was silence for a few seconds, then he slowly got up, clutching his head, and a loud groan of pain left his mouth. I quickly got down and stood in front of him, grabbing his arms to support him. He looked at me again, and his eyes for a second shimmered with tears...

"Let's go..." he said, gulping, and I followed him...