Linger in love

(7) Return to Society

August 8th 1814

It was a warm day, if the sun got any warmer, I may have to take off my damn hat.
Not the best look after riding for 2 hours on this grand steed. Sweat was starting to run off my brow. I hate to think what condition my hair would be in. Wet and wild was definitely not the look I wanted to go for today.

My mind was on just one person. Miss Penelope Featherington, Pen. She had lost her father shortly before I had left to go on my travels.

I was due to meet my family this morning but as usual I found myself easily distracted. I managed to ride further than I had before while unaccompanied and found myself among the most beautiful lilies I had ever seen. Knowing they were a symbol of friendship, I gathered a bunch and climbed back on Neptune. Named for its trident shaped pattern on its lower back. The poor thing seemed as irritated with this damn heat as I.

I let Neptune drink from a near by stream, and fed him some carrots I carried in my satchel. There was something oddly calming about horses. Possibly because you could talk to them and you knew they would never repeat it. If it could talk, I would fear all the secrets that would spew out.

Neptune started to let out a groan at my satchel, forgetting I had an apple in. He shook his head about excitedly. "That was supposed to be for me old friend" Colin was a push over, he muttered to himself "You are wicked" and held it out for him. While he tickled under his chin.  After hugging his face. Putting it to towards his. It was a sweet gesture. A sign of having a long and trusting past with the horse.

After releasing him he whispered "Do you think Pen missed me" the horse shook his head "Thank you for the vote of confidence" he chuckled to himself before mounting the saddle once more to continue on his journey.

Having Daphne around as a sister was a blessing. I don't know how she became knowledgeable of flowers and their meaning but I must congratulate her botanical insight. Miss Penelope Featherington will love these, indeed.

I was meaning to visit her before I left for the Mediterranean, but losing her father. I found myself not knowing how to act. So I left. A cowardly escape when I merely did not know what to say. I could have sat with her. I didn't have to ask questions. But the horrid feeling in my chest to see my poor Pen in so much anguish, I didn't want it to affect me. For her to feel like I pitied her. That and more obviously, it was not proper. That damn mother of hers would have just cast me aside anyway.

So yellow Lilies, perfect. Almost the same shade of her dress when I saw her last season.
She is such a captivating young lady. I have been fearful of returning home to see her eyes more dim and the spark in her lost. It would break my heart. That is the unfortunate side effect of losing one's parent. I knew that.

Usually when returning home, it is not his family but more, Miss Featherington's face that I yearned for most. When I would see her face brighten up the room. I would know for certain. Nothing had changed and I was home. It is a strange feeling to miss a friend so much but she wasn't just a friend.

She was special.

Important.

Her kind words before he left made him believe that love was a wonderful thing. That it is a powerful incentive to try more. To be more.
Penelope's kind words felt like an anchor, keeping me grounded. I wish for a love match. much like my mother and father before me.

Miss Marina Thompson has ruined me. How am I to trust anyone again so willingly after her cruelty. She had her reasons, but I hate being lied to and made to be a fool. Pen always made me feel I deserved better. That when one finds oneself in an incredible position then one must declare in assuredly, fervently, loudly.