Linger in love

(55) Uncertainty

The Modeste

With the wedding fast approaching, Gen was working her damn hardest to get the dress fitted in time.

"You will be the most beautiful bride"

"Thankyou Genevieve. Will you come?"

"It is highly irregular if I ..."

Pen pleaded "Please. It would be strange if you were not there to see me wed for the second time"

"I would be honoured"

Pen gave a relieved sigh. Times have been hard and she would not have got through it without the affection of Gen, Agatha and Violet. How strange, is it not. That those we see most day can quickly become your greatest allies.

Gen gave her a side look "I don't think I have anything to wear"

"Gen you own a modeste, you can't get out of it so easy"

"Indeed" Gen thought about asking Benedict if he could accompany her, but their little trist ended quite abruptly because of her and she knew it. He did nothing wrong. He was not ashamed of being seen with her, did not hide her away he even tried to converse with her in his own home when delivering dresses. It would be rude to ask him.

Gen cleared her throat. "I have some extra fabric, just incase in needs altering the day before"

"Thank you" it wasn't simply two words. Gen knew that it was for everything they had been through together. From their secret pact to her marriage to Thomas, through to now. Pen was glad for the friends she had made. Gen was only happy to be part of her inner circle.

"Do you think I am making the right choice..."

"The fabric is wonderful pen, and it gives your bump firm protection..."

"That is not what I mean to say..." Pen sat down, and smoothed her hand nervously down her neck "With Colin"

"Why would you think that..."

"He thinks of me as a friend. He told me I am everything but..."

Gens eyes were full of understanding "It was not the words you wished to hear"

Pen shook her head. Gen took her hand "Mr Bridgerton is a wise man. He knows you will always love Tommy, he just wishes to show you the love he has for you"

"Perhaps, you are right" Pen forced a smile.

"Look at me Pen"

Pen eyes looked into Gens "He loves you. You are everything to him. And why should you not be..." she showed a small joyous smile.

Pen squeezed her hand, letting out a little shrug "I am scared. I have already lost someone who I loved"

Gen slowly put her arm around her "Don't let the past hold you back from being happy Penelope. We have one life, and I would be damn disappointed if you didn't enjoy every moment"

It was moment like this she remembered how wise Genevieve could be. She had such a good outlook for a woman. Even wanted to go up further ranks with her business.

"What will happen with your column?" Gen had to ask, she had been holding her tongue since Pen had arrived.

"Everyone know about me, there is no point in carrying on"

"Perhaps trying new horizons, is that not what they say"

New horizons. In all earnest Pen was content with her secret scandal sheet. But perhaps the time has come for the author to not only reveal herself. But to reveal herself in a story. A book. Under her own name. What a thrilling debenture that would be.

"Sorry I am a late Penelope, I was helping my son with a something special"

Gen smirked at Pen "Well, that is rather mysterious"

"He has his moments, to be sure" Violet chuckled.

Even with Pens dress covered in pins and loose fabric segments, Violet looked closer. "It is quite a beautiful design Madame Delacroix"

"You're too kind, Lady Bridgerton"

Violet smiled "Is it too late to extricate my daughter from you"

Daughter. What a wonderful word, used with love and affection. Pen could feel the emotions starting to flow again.

"Not at all. I am finished with the design, I just have to put it together and we will have a masterpiece"

Both ladies helped her out of the material, and helped her change. Pen was a bit anxious of having them both mother her, but it was a sweet feeling.

She said her farewells to Madame Delacroix before entering the carriage with Violet.

"Am I going to have a hint"

Violet smirked "I have no idea of what you speak"

"You lie like a rug, Violet"

"Be as it may. It is not my place"

"Very well. Keep your secrets" Penelope held Violets hand. "I am lucky, you know. To have someone like you in my life"

Violet looked like she may cry "... Penelope..."

"You were with me when others were not, and I will never forget your kindness when times were hard"

Violet gave a small smile, though her eyes were burning with unshed tears "I am the lucky one"

Pen let a tear fall. "Don't get me started, my emotions are making me tear up in any given moment"

They both laughed. Looking a mess.

"I must say, you and Colin remind me of when I first fell in love" Pen could see it was a happy memory, so gave her undivided attention when she continued "We were friends. Best of friends really, Edmund and I" she looked down like she was picturing every moment.

"I loved him in secret you see. Then one day out of the blue he walked up to me and asked if I had feelings for him. He looked like a desperate man. Almost disheveled, possible because of the gentlemen who had shown interest" she smiled at Penelope "He took my hand, pleading for a response. In all earnest, I was too overwhelmed. I smiled and said I do. Then he pulled me closer and asked me to marry him. It was then I realised that it was possible for a dream to come true"

Penelope looked at Violet with a new sense of understanding. For two friends to become more, is only difficult if the other person does not share the sentiment. Even if Colin does not love me, I am certain he cares for me a great deal. But to be another person's everything is a scary notion indeed.