Linger in love

(6) Dear Pen

Dearest Penelope,

I hope this letter reaches you well. I will be returning in the next few weeks. So this may be my last letter before the long voyage home.

I have visited the Patara ancient city in Turkey this week. The large brick and views took my breath away. The Roman theatre and columns can still be there today is maddening. How much history must be carved into every brick. I only wish you could see it Pen, and feel as I do. That this world is more larger and interesting than we ever anticipated.

I climbed the slopes of Mount Olympus with my new travel companion Marcus, we managed an extensive walking distance without any major injuries. Although once Marcus sat down, he found it hard to get back up. I am slightly disappointed to say that I did not witness any Greek gods in their natural habitat. But it is still early.

After my excursion I found my self acquainted with other travellers who joined me on a falconry expedition with the Turks. The wing span of these fierce birds is exquisite and powerful. The flap of their large wings echoed along the cliff edges. How freeing it must be to be soaring so far up looking down at structures and people.

I hope Eloise hasn't been getting you into any trouble. I love her dearly but she can be a tyrant at times.

I look forward to seeing you on my return home. Good day, Pen.

Your Friend

Colin Bridgerton

Colin included a yellow flower that grew near his lodgings. Pressing it overnight between two large books before placing it in the letter. Although writing 'your friend' somehow didn't feel right. Considering the dreams that plagued him so. He had to stop himself from writing how much he missed her. It would be entirely inappropriate and he did not wish for her propriety to be in question.

Pen had been distant before he had left Mayfair. I thought things were well between us. I hope she is still alright from her father's harsh words at Vauxhall. A man should think better than to speak such disgust of a lady and a father should know better.

With her father gone, knowing that his last comments on her were not favourable, that must play on her mind.

I shared a drink with him at The Vauxhall Ball, well more than a few, I cannot recall any of my moment. What I do recall is the head agony that I received the following morning.

I had thrown all the sweet treats back up in the early mourn. I hope Pen did not see me in a state, I could not forgive myself. I have been told that the volume of alcohol reflects the volume in speech I project at everyone not wanting to hear the ramblings of a pillock.

Oh lord, I hope I was not insulting my family or dear Pen. Even the three raw eggs in the morning had not helped my foul mood or countenance.

It is strange, this visit has been exciting and worth while, but for some reason or another I have been feeling lonely.

One should not feel lonely in a place like this, where colosseum's stand strong and people are generous and kind.

I have a feeling that something is missing in my life. Was this Miss Marina Thompson's doing. Had she broken me so easily with merely a flutter of her eyelashes and a curve of her lips.

I may be angry, but I do wish her well, I was unkind to her at our last meeting. What gave me the right to devalue her. She did what she did for her unborn child. She had no other option.

If the situation was with another lady, like say Miss Penelope Featherington. I would have forgiven her without a second thought.

I settled my belongings and myself at the edge of the pier. Taking a last look of the vastness of the view. It was to be a long voyage home, and I find myself anxious for my return to society.

The ton had a way of remembering everything, Lady Whistledown would surely remind them if they had forgotten. I could imagine it now. He started to inscribe into his journal:
Poor Mr Colin Bridgerton, returning to society with that chip firmly on his shoulder still. The charmer would no doubt find the debutantes this season a refreshing distraction, to be sure. After the events last season from Miss Marina Thompson. Now Mrs Crane. For what dear readers can heal a man's heart, other than other ladies, and a new sense of purpose.

What a joke I must be. He was convinced the gossipmonger hated him for some reason. The word 'Charmer' came up way too often when his name was mentioned. Is that all I am. Do I have no other value.

Pen is the opposite, she believes me to be stronger and more cared for than anyone else.

Perhaps, I will take a break from the ladies. Be sworn off woman. Until I am ready to find myself once more. Come back with a new purpose and understanding of my place in my fair city.

I do hope sweet Pen is well. I have missed her terribly since I left society. Her calming voice and charming conversation is what I seek now. She is such a great friend, I feel lucky to have someone so caring in my life, other than my family. She has always been a constant in my life and I do not know how I would have navigated this world without her kindness and support. Through all the bad times that plagued me so.

If I can steal her away from Eloise, I would really enjoy a catch up with her on my return. My sister does so have a way of guiding Pen in a different direction. I have never asked her why. Pen is my friend as well, in fact I believe it was I that introduced them both.