Linger in love

(17) The new Lord

The new Lord Featherington has made his way to Mayfair from the Americas. Penelope relished in her mother's detest for being once again pushed aside to the request of a man.

Once again she was not in charge, her disapproval for the Lord, she hadn't even bothered to hide her ire. He asked that we call him cousin Jack. As he was not very old and I found him to be a rather charming man of sorts. My sisters seems rather smitten with him, even Mrs Varley would flutter her lashes at him.

The atmosphere seemed to improve the moment the man entered our home. He was worldly with stories of his adventures. He reminded me a little of Colin with his excitement when returning from his travels.

Eloise was overjoyed on my relief of having the new Lord in our lives. It was not that Eloise has it easy but she always has protection from her family. Someone can take that for granted. Cousin Jack is who we needed to feel that protection once more. My papa left a whole that thankfully he could fill.

I think Colin will get on with the new Lord, they can talk of similar interests. Perhaps, when Lord Featherington sees of our bond then he may hint of a potential engagement. Or is that merely just hope. Hope can be a cruel temptress, indeed.

Jack has brought his different rifles to show us from his hunting excursions. It would be a great thing, to be sure, if he were to join the Bridgerton's on their hunt. Bringing our families together. I would appreciate more time with Eloise's family.

I find myself concerned of her relationship with this Theo Sharpe that works the printers. I fear she will bring disgrace to her family. I feel I need to do something to remedy her fault.

I followed her, a very unladylike thing to do, to be sure. But I am glad I did. They were sitting and laughing rather closely with each other. If anyone but I saw the exchange I would fear Eloise's propriety would be in question. Worse her whole family.

Damn you Eloise, you should know better. Talk of radicals in the town. So there is no question why Eloise's interest was peaked. How I wish it wasn't. I need her to disinterest her away from such notions of a dangerous liaison with the boy.

I was not surprised the following day when Eloise told me of the Queen accusing her of being Whitledown. Foolishness indeed. She hasn't just put herself in danger. She is going to take her family and me right down with you. How could she be so foolish. She may be the smartest person I know, but she is definitely the most stubborn.

Both Colin and myself had already swayed her off from being in that edge of town. Like I say, Eloise is stubborn, I'm not sure where she gets that trait from. Possibly Anthony.

That was before the Bridgerton Ball, that I last saw Colin. He was going to visit Marina at her home with Sir Phillip at Romney Hall, Gloucestershire. y heart broke for him. Clearly the distance had not helped. I hoped it would.

Colin had left the same day.

I need to, in good conscious, see Miss Marina Crane. To apologise for how I treated her. How awful I had been. Not considering her needs as a woman with child, alone in the world. As much as I needed to leave to make my regrets known. I felt odd leaving Pen at the ball. I very much wanted to dance with her tonight.

She looked so sad when I told her I was to leave. Is it because Pen wished for more time with me. Or is it, she missed me when I was away. As much as I needed. Please god, did she miss me. Has that beautiful mind missed me. While she laid in bed alone at night. Did her thoughts go to me.

Seeing Marina brought back a lot of memories, both fond and painful. She was polite but she did not accept my apology nor give one. Almost as if it was nonsensical to need one to begin with.

She had said something curious though, she mentioned Penelope. I do not understand why. It is not as if she cares for me. Miss Featherington, Pen would never care for me like that. She only thinks as me as a friend. I could never think otherwise. But why did Marina speak her name "Penelope" could she truly love me. That is madness. She could never. She is too smart, mind boggling, tough and beautiful lady I have ever met.

Travelling back, I realised I need time to think. Time to push Lady Crane completely out of my mind. It was difficult lying on my bed and my thought going to Pen. Pen seems to have pushed Lady Crane out of my mind fully. But Pen is my friend. Come morning, Colin was walking the halls trying to make sense of his relationship with his best friend.

Naturally the moment he finally got his ass up and down stairs, Pen caught him off guard.

"Colin! We missed you at the ball last night"

We did. Or you did. I wonder what she was wearing, how she had her hair styled. What small gloves held her dainty fingers.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't feeling up to it"

"After seeing Marina?" Pen offered.

Colin nodded. Remembering when Marina spoke Pens name. Which was still curious.

"How is she, Colin?" She is so sweet to ask. They were quite close Eloise had told me. This must all be rather hard on her.

"She is content"

"I'm glad" Pen smiled. Her whole face lit up "Perhaps, it is what you needed. To put the past behind. So you no longer need to forswear women"

Then I blamed myself and even Pen for how bad she was treated. Why did I say that. I walked off with a growl. Now Pen thinks I blame her. For goodness sake.

Why do I keep pushing and pushing her away. I am seriously debating if I am a complete idiot. If my siblings knew of my feeling they would make fun of my confusion, to be sure.

Wait was that a hint for me to move on... oh my god. Ahhh.