Linger in love

(33) Compromising Position

The Featherington Home

Mr Colin Bridgerton was announced a week later. Pen panicked. Getting Rae to put the finishing touches to her hair.

"Are you well miss?" She noticed Pen's look of fear in her eye.

"Yes" she paused for a moment "Whatever I say can not be repeated. Do you understand?"

Rae nodded.

"Mr Bridgerton has showed an interest. But I must admit I am scared. Thomas was such a great man. How can I find anyone who cares for me as much as he did. And how can I love any man the way I did, him" Pen growled to herself.

Rae touched her shoulder. Looking at her reflection in the mirror. "May I be honest, Miss?"

Pen nodded.

"I believe Mr Bridgerton has cared for you in secret for a long time. Just because you did not see does not mean I did not notice. As for love. You have to open yourself up to the possibility that you may love more than one man in your lifetime"

Pen looked as though she may burst crying.

"Thank you"

"Also Miss, I think you are worth all the attention you deserve"

Pen shook her head "You have to say that"
What are handmaidens, if not ladies taught to make their mistresses feel more appreciated.

Rae tapped her shoulder "No I do not"

Rae smiled sweetly. "Are you ready?"

Pen nodded.

Pen was directed to the garden where,she could see Colin already nibbling on a biscuit. His eyes brightened as he saw her.

Pen nodded at her handmaid "Thank you Rae"

Rae left them. She no longer needed the pains of needing a chaperone.

"What brings you here, Colin?"

"I wanted to ask you something"

"Anything"

Colin smiled but suspiciously looked around for any eyes on them.

"Can you tell me how it happened?"

"How what happened?"

"The kiss" he clearly wanted more details. She was unsure why. But nodded.

"My father was being intentionally rude about me in front of his friends at a ball. You told him that you would escort me home... " she sniffed ".. you agreed. But I had already ran as far as the yellow fields at Thornhill"

My eyes grew.

My dream.

"... when you caught up to me, you calmed me down. You held me in a warm embrace and then we.." she took a hard swallow ".. we kissed"

I didn't know what to say. Sorry would not be enough. I took advantage of my friend. She kept the secret for me.

".. at the time I did not realise how much you had drank. The next day you came to my home to court Marina"

Oh my god. I am a monster.

"Forgive me Colin, I thought that you made a mistake, I did not realise you had forgotten. While I never did. I had to watch you everyday with her knowing we had a fleeting moment"

"Pen, I am so sorry. I did not know"

She nodded. Pen looked so vulnerable. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. But that is what caused her such pain to begin with.