Linger in love

(57) By Your Side

She nodded, a tear stinging her eye. Pen had never heard his direct tone. If she wasn't in so much pain so would probably swoon right there and then. She shot him a look, damn this man. I push him away and still he is there for me.

Violet and Colin pulled her to her feet getting her onto the bed. Pen tightened her mouth in pain.

They laid her on the bed, Colin sat next to her.

"Please don't leave!" She whispered. It was then that he realised she did not mean proximity, she could not bare to loose him either. The pain must have been a false alarm. But the exhaustion was still frustrating, more so as there was more to say. As the pain eased Pen started to breath normally once more.

"Why would I, when you are here" he took her hand to his lips. "I love you, Pen"

"What?"

"I love you. Since before I left to go to the Mediterranean"

"Why did you not say anything?"

"I thought you indifferent. I did not believe anyone like you could ever really care for me"

"Miss Thompson did a number on you, I do not blame you for that"

"She did. But I can't help thinking that if she went through with her plans, I would have been miserable. You saved me from that"

"Me.. but... oh. You mean Whistledown?"

"You are her. You are Whistledown. Time to own that triumph, don't you think"

"You do not hate me for all the things I wrote"

"If anything it makes me have my doubts... "

"Doubts" she mumbled. Her eyebrows raised. She looked defeated.

"... that I am not worthy of you"

"Worthy of me, Colin. I think you have it backwards. I have loved you ever since you fell off that damn horse in the park. A ridiculously long time indeed to hold a such a flame"

"I am sorry I have hurt you"

"Me too" she nodded.

Colin leaned down and kissed her forehead "Whatever you decide you want in your future. You have me, if you choose it"

"You do not want to raise another man's child?" She asked unsure.

"Why not. He was a good man, he would respect me for finally stepping up"

"That is true" she could not argue with that logic.

"And also because of the other part"

"Other part" her eyebrow rose in confusion.

"The 'I love you"', I do not want to live the rest of my life without you"

"Ah, that part"

In the moment they had quite forgotten Lady Bridgerton in the corner, quietly sobbing at the pure intimacy of the moment. It is one thing to be naked before another, but it is a quite another to bare your soul.