Glass Heart

Part Thirty-Six

Kylie's POV:

I stood there, frozen in place and watched Malia walk out of my trailer.

I wanted to say everything, to make her stay, but I couldn't seem to find my voice.

Is this really what I want?

No.

So why cant I say anything?

The door closed behind her, and I just stood there in the same place.

There was ringing in my ears. A high pitched ring that made goosebumps appear on my body.

This was the kind of feeling I couldn't wish on anyone else.

I felt so...helpless.

I need Malia. Yet somehow, just somehow I always find a way to drive her away.

About a minute passed and I heard a knock

I felt my whole body perk up when Malia knocked.

"Kylie?"

But it wasn't Malia.

I opened the door and let Ruby in. She sat down exactly where Malia had sat just a few minutes ago.

"Why was Malia leaving in such a hurry?" Ruby asked.

I didn't know what to say.

Do I blame Ruby? She's the one who told me I had to let go.

"Because, Ruby. Malia took your great advice of me letting go and decided that it meant I let go of us."

Rubys eyebrows furrowed, and I could tell she was genuinely confused by my attitude and tone.

"What? What do you mean?"

I slammed my fists on the small counter-nook I was standing behind.

"She broke up with me, okay!" I yelled. "She just left. You should too."

Ruby immediately stood up and walked up to me, her hands clasping her mouth.

"Kylie, i'm so sorry," Rubys look was genuine "I'll to talk to her right now-"

"God, Ruby take a hint! Don't you think you've done enough? Just go!"

I don't know where the sudden anger was coming from.

Ruby and I never fight. Sure, we've had disagreements, but in the years and years that we have been friends, we've never actually fought.

Ruby look stunned. She had a guilty expression.

"I'm sorry, Kylie."

I watched as Ruby left the trailer, in the same fashion as Malia.

At the same time that I wanted to blame her for this, I know her advice probably has nothing to do with it.

It's not Ruby's fault.

I was just so confused. I couldn't even think of something I did. Maybe, maybe I said some things that could come off as bad...

But was that really grounds for a breakup?

I didn't think so.

I thought Malia and I were getting good. She was becoming more happy, we literally had such a great morning.

We had a great week.

I know we were close to getting back to where we started, back to those feelings and back to that energy.

I just know it.

But, I guess I don't really know anything.

I checked the time on my phone and rolled my eyes when I noticed that there was only a few minutes before I had to head back.

I took a second to regain my composure.

I breathed a few times, cleared my throat a few times, and tried not to cry a lot of times.

I walked back onto set, holding my head up high.

Technically, Malia never said the words "break up", so technically we were still together.

I think.

I walked up to her. She looked completely shocked and confused that I was even approaching her.

The hole her eyes were burning into me made me lose all my confidence, but it was already too late to go back.

I got up to her, took her hand, and pulled her off to the side before anyone could notice.

She tried to protest, but I covered her mouth right when I saw it open.

"Wait. Please, just let me talk." I whispered. "You did all the talking in my trailer. It's my turn."

I don't know if I was being delusional, or if her gaze actually softened. All I know is that Malias mouth closed against the palm of my hand, her tense body relaxed just a little, and she looked me in the eyes.

There was love. The love she had in her eyes months ago, she was looking at me the same way she did back then.

The eyes never lie...right?

I took her silence and lack of protest as a signal to go on with my point.

"Look, I don't know what I did. But the second I find out, i'm going to do better. I can promise you that." I took a breath, trying to get in all my words before Jennifer calls the break to end. "And we aren't broken up. Just thought I'd make it known."

I took my hand off of Malias mouth, carefully not to smear any lipstick that her makeup artist worked so hard on.

"Kylie, I just broke up with you?" She said, with a tone that screamed 'idiot'.

Ouch. It hurt, but I held my head up and made sure my demeanor stayed the same.

"Well, sorry but that's not how it works. You cant just not communicate with me and then break up with me and expect me to just respect all of your wishes."

"Kylie,"

"Because I love you, and you love me. And when you love somebody, you do whatever it takes to make them happy and to be with them. Here I am Malia. I'm yours. Forever and always. And I'm going to do what it takes. Whatever it may be."

Malia stoped protesting. She seemed to be deep in thought.

She thought too long.

She didn't give me an answer before the end of the break.

The second she opened her mouth, we heard Jennifer's voice.

"I need Kylie and Malia to set three, Kylie and Malia to set three."

Malia just looked at me, and we started to walk side by side.

We walked in silence.

Malia still didn't say anything, which confused me.

She usually has so much to say and now, all of a sudden, she's wordless.

Does she really not want to be with me?

I don't want to force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, but that's just the thing.

The only thing I want from her is to be with her.

And it seems to me that that's the only thing she doesn't want.

We filmed the scene. It only took one take.

Jennifer said our chemistry was spot on this take, but we both knew it was because we had so many feelings.

The cameraman showed us the clip, and you could see it in both of our eyes.

Longing.

But longing for what? I want Malia. I'm not longing for anything, because I thought I had her.

Her eyes were longing, but I couldn't tell what she was longing for.

My heart hurt as I felt my gaze shift over to the beautiful girl next to me. She was looking at the screen.

Not once did she turn my way. She knew I was looking, I could see it in her eyes. But for the first time in...well ever, I couldn't read her eyes.

Does she really not want me?

Am I longing for the wrong thing?