Escapism (Arthur Morgan x Reader)

Chapter 17:

YN's P.O.V.

The clouds had swirled outside as the black crow screeched, echoing it's off tune pitch to the town of strawberry. I was still bare ass naked next to the man I loved, yet right then even that couldn't stop me from the tension as thick as butter, looming over us.

I sighed and slid off the bed not to wake the sleeping giant. His breath was shallow, hair drooping over his softly shut eyes. I grabbed the carton of cigarettes and walked outside. Arms pressed against the railing as the sun itself hid behind the thick layer of clouds.

I felt a familiar sickness return and I lean over the railing to puke. I felt embarrassed but...it did make me feel better. After a few minutes of breaths I sighed. I reopened the carton of cigarettes and lit one.

I drew in and drew out, the nicotine furthering my worry, but the smoke cloud flowing out into the sky becoming one with the already musky atmosphere.

"Those aren't good for you so I hear." A gravelly voice uttered behind me. One I knew too well,

"Oh shut up Arthur." I roll my eyes, his arm snaking around my waist. He took a cigarette out of the carton and drew one long and slow, a few moments of silence go by before he decides to speak up again, but as soon as his lips part nothing comes out...

"Are you....doin' okay?" He asked, not really expecting a good response by the pure hesitance in his eyes.

"No...'course not...I...I don't know who's gonna come alive outa this or even if we'll get any sorta happy endin' and-" tears long a comin' began leaking down my face. He wraps his burly arms around me as I cry into his shirt, it was embarrassing. The flashbacks of the ranch land we just bought, the fishing trips we had, the camping when we first spent, and hell all the times bumping into that fine lookin' stranger from valentine, only made me cry harder, my throat and head sore and pounding. I felt a few droplets on my back,

"I know darlin' I'm scared too...but...I figured it'd happen to me at least." He uttered. I pulled away with a frown, 

"Don't talk like that.." I scolded as he had a nonchalant, mopey shrug. I soften my features as I see his teeth grit, his facial muscles tight, his brow furrowed. Very seldom did I see Arthur on the verge of a breakdown. 

"It's okay to cry y'know?" I softly reminded him. He shook his head putting his hat to his face to cover his eyes, as one tear slid down across his prickly cheek. 

"No it ain't..." He said sternly, albeit a little shaky. I took his hat off, 

"Yes it is, we're partners...I don't think you're any weaker 'cause it you hear? I know even if you are sobbing, I couldn't win an arm wrestle with you to save my life." I chuckled, which in turn earned  a small chuckle from him. I swiped the tear,

"See? That's the Arthur I know and love." I smiled as his face leaned into my hand,

"I don't deserve you." He mumbled.

"We don't deserve each other. Now...I think we both been 'voiden it but we need to get goin'. Lord knows when the law'll show up." I frown. He takes a deep breath in, then after what feels like forever he releases. He gave me a tight embrace which I returned and he pecked the top of my forehead. 

"alright..." is all he said. In silence we had gotten ready, bathed, dressed, and ate in almost total silence. Finding our horses I hopped upon Dana.

"Lets go girl...YAH!" I yell whipping the reigns taking us all across the shared memories from when I met him,

We drove by the lakes,