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Toni's POV
It was late at night and all the kids were asleep. Kenji had woke up for a feeding so I did that while Kenny was in the shower. As I was rocking Kenji to sleep, I thought about how my life would be if I never listened to my mother.
When I was 16, I became pregnant with Kenny's baby after giving my virginity to him. Though I was young, I was happy. I always knew I wanted to spend my life with Ken but my mom was the mastermind behind it. She didn't want me to be friends with him because she thought all men were evil and they were all cheaters.
So I lied to Kenny and told him I didn't have feelings for him but entire time..I did.
When I found out I was pregnant my mother took me to the doctor for a stomach ache. I had no idea I was pregnant I just thought I was cramping really bad like I do on my period and throwing up wasn't to out of the ordinary either, It had happened a lot back when during my time of the month.
When the doctors revealed that I was pregnant, My mother lit up that room with curse words I never knew she had in her vocabulary.
To wrap it up, my mother wasted no time setting me up an appointment to get an abortion. I had no choice or say what I wanted to do with my body and when I expressed that she threatened to send me back to Maryland to live with my father because I was "filthy" and "filled with sin" I was a "slut" in her eyes.
My relationship with my mother was never the same after that. Now seeing my daughters go through a similar situation just made me go.. Psychotic.
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I placed Kenji in his crib and turned on his baby music mobile so he'd stay asleep then I tip toed out of his room silently then went to go check on Kensley then Kaiya before going to my bedroom. I shut the door and sat down in my chair. I kept running back Tianna's situation along with mine when I was her age and I felt guilty.
Although I'd be 38 soon, it made me wanna give Kenny all the babies he wanted. No matter what and that's what I was gonna do. I heard the shower still on which signaled that he was still in there so I got up and went to our bathroom. I shut the door and started to undress myself and I slid the door open, Kenny turned around and I kissed him deeply.
"Let's make a baby"
Kenny looked at me, surprised but with a spark of excitement And confusion in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, the warm water cascading over both of us.
"Wha-Are you sure?"he asked softly, searching my eyes for any hesitation.
I nodded, feeling more certain than ever. "Yes, I want this. I want us to have as many babies as we can. I want to build the family we always dreamed of."
Kenny smiled and kissed me again, his hands moving tenderly over my body."Wait I thought you said-"
"I know what I said and I don't care"
"But Toni you go into your surgery soon, what if-"
"I don't care. I won't do it"
"I- where is this coming from?"
"No where I just love you."
"I love you too"
"More than anything Kenny. I really love you."
He looked me in my eyes and picked me up slamming me against the wall. He kissed me violently and choked me politely yet roughly.
We spent the next few minutes making love. The steam from the shower enveloping us in a cocoon of warmth and love. It felt like time had stopped, and all that mattered was the two of us.
After a while, we stepped out of the shower, dried off, and made our way to the bed. The room was dimly lit, creating a cozy and intimate atmosphere. Kenny pulled me close, and we lay there, talking about our hopes and dreams for the future.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.
"No..no I'm not"
Kenny kissed my forehead and held me tighter.
I knew Kenny had the feeling that there was something wrong but he never forced me to tell him anything, he knew that when I was ready I'd speak on it.
Especially now since we were going through so much with the kids, he knew why it took a toll on me personally.
Kenny knew I needed him most now, So there were no words spoken. He just held me tight and I smiled as I drifted off to sleep. I felt safe. I felt peace. I felt loved. That's all I needed.
