Love, Drugs and Destruction

20. You need to leave him.

I watched as JJ stood on the dock looking at the water, and I walked closer to him. He looks over his shoulder when he hears me, throwing his cigarette away. I went to stand next to him not talking. He looked at me, running his fingers down my arm over the bruises Rafe gave me, I looked at him, and I just burst into tears. He pulled me into a hug, and for the first time in a long time, I was in JJ's arms again.

He sat down, pulling me with him, and I lay my head on his chest, still sobbing. He did not say anything. He just rubbed my arms holding me tightly to him. I finally stopped crying and playing with the rings on his fingers. "I am so sorry J." I finally speak, looking up at him. "I am sorry too." He said, kissing my cheek, and I gave him a small smile.

I move so that I sit in front of him to see his face, still holding his hand not wanting to let go. "Does he hit you, Lia?" He asks, and I look up at him, taking a deep breath. "No, he just gets angry and doesn't realize how hard he grabs me," I whisper, and he frowns. "Look at your neck, Lia, it's not okay for anyone to hurt you like that." He says again, and I nod. "I know, but I do bring it on myself," I say, and he shakes his head.

"Stop defending him for fuck sakes." He says, pulling his hand away to run it through his hair. I sit biting my lip, not knowing what to say. "Look, Lia, you're a big girl, and I cannot tell you what to do, but you have to realize that him grabbing you and choking you is not right." He says, taking out a joint and lighting it.

"I know, and believe me, I tell him," I say, and he nods. "But still he does it." He says, and again, I keep quiet. I take the joint from him, taking a few puffs. "Can we please not talk about him," I ask, and he nods, taking back the joint. "I went surfing today," I say, and he smiles. "Yeah and how was it?" He asks, and I sigh. "So fucking good." He laughs. "I missed this," I say and he nods. "Me too."

"J, can I ask you something?" I ask thinking about what Kelch said the other day. He nods giving me the joint. "Are you in love with me?" I ask and he looks down, his smile dropping. "Lia." He said, and I knew he wanted to admit it, but he kept quiet. "It's okay, J," I say to get out of the uncomfortable situation.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks, and I nod. "Do you love him?" He asks, and I look down at my hands. "I do," I admit, and he looks disgusted. "How can you love someone like him?" He asks, and I sigh. "Everyone deserves love J," I say, and he looks down, looking ashamed. "Come, let's go to the others." He said, pulling me up, and I stood up, pulling him into a hug. "Are we okay?" I ask as he pulls away. He rubbed my cheek and ran his fingers over the bruise on my neck.

"We are, and Lia, if you ever come to me with marks again, I will kill him." He said, and then he leaned down, kissing my neck, and I stood frozen. It felt nice but different. He pulls away, grabbing my hand, and we walk to the others. I see the others looking at our hands that were still holding each other. "You guys good?" John B asks, and I smile. "We're good," JJ says, sitting down and pulling me so that I sit on his lap.

"Sarah, you need to talk to Lia." I hear John B whisper, and she looks at me. "Fine Lia, lets talk." She says, and JJ squeezes my hand, and I follow Sarah into the house. We went to John B's room and she sat on the bed while I stood. "So, are you and my psycho brother still dating?" She asks, crossing her arms, and I nod, also crossing my arms. She laughs, and I look at her in disbelief.

"After what he did to you, look at the bruises Lia." She half yells, and I nod, biting my lip. "I love him." I finally confessed, looking at her, and I started crying. "What he is doing to you, Lia is not love its control." She says, and I just nod again. "Look, Sarah, I told JJ the same. I do not want to talk about him, and I am sorry, okay? I just miss you; I miss our friendship." I say while tears stream down my face.

I see her wipe a tear, and she stands up, walking to me. She gave me a big hug, and I hugged her back. "I miss you too Lia." She says, holding my arms and looking at me. "You need to leave my brother, I know you do not want to hear this, but he is busy destroying you." She said, and all I could do was nod. I know she is right, they are all right, but I cannot let him go.

"I love you, Sarah," I say, and she smiles. "I love you too," She says, kissing my cheek. "Now come lets go have fun with our friends." She says, and I smile. We walk to the others. "All good?"John B asks, and we nod. JJ pulls me onto his lap again and I sighs. Finally, I had my friends back, I had my JJ back, and now I just needed to fix things with Rafe, but for tonight, I just wanted to have fun.

I was lying in the hammock with JJ when my phone rang. I fish it out of my pocket, seeing Rafe's name. JJ rolls his eyes, looking away. I ignore his call, laying back down with my head on JJ's arm. "You can answer it." He says, and I shake my head. "I don't have the energy for him," I say, and he kisses my head. "Hey, come on, you two, we are going to make a fire; JJ, come help with the cooler," Pope yelled from the door, and we stood up.

We made a bonfire and we were just laughing and drinking. Soon, I was drunk and high, thanks to JJ's weed. "Do you remember the time we helped Lia snuck out of school," Pope asks, and I laugh. "Yes, o my god, we almost got caught; that was a great day," I say, and JJ pulls me close. "It was." He says, kissing my temple, and I smile. JJ would be the perfect guy for me, but my heart is still with Rafe.

"The beer is done, John B. Do you still have beer?" I ask, and he nods. "In the house." "Want some help?" JJ asks, and I shake my head; "I will be right back". I say, kissing his cheek; I smile, walking into the Chateau. I got the beers and walked out the door, still smiling, so happy that I was finally good with the pogues again.

"So this is where you are hiding baby." I gasped, turning around; Rafe, Topper, and Kelch were standing next to Rafe's truck. "Rafe," I say holding my heart. "What are you doing here?" I ask him, putting down the beers and walking closer to him. "Coming to take back what's mine." He says and I frown. "I don't want trouble, Rafe, okay? We can talk tomorrow," I say, looking over my shoulder, making sure the others are still at the fire.

He laughed, but it was not the laugh I loved so much. It was an evil laugh. He grabs me by my arm, pulling me closer to him. "Leave me, Rafe," I say, pulling my arm from him, I look at Kelch and Topper, but both of them just look away. He grabs me by my throat, and I struggle to breathe. "So what you are friends with the dirty pogues again? You and JJ look close; tell me, Amelia did you fuck him yet? Is he as good as me?" He asked, and I felt the tears running down my face.

"Come on, Rafe, let her breathe," Topper says, and Rafe lets me go. I gasp for air, trying to stop my sobs. "Please just leave, we can talk tomorrow." I plead with Rafe, and he shakes his head. "I will only leave if you come with me." He says, and I shake my head. "Lia, you okay?" I hear Sarah, and I see Rafe smile when he sees his sister. I could see it in his eyes. This night is not going to end as good as it started.

Please, please, please tell me what you think.