Love, Drugs and Destruction

38. Its not what it looks like

Rafe came back outside and I could see something bothering him. "Uh, listen, guys, I have to go sort something out real quick; you guys spend the day and enjoy yourself." He says, walking to me and kissing me on my head. "I will be back later okay." He said, and I just nodded, not knowing where he was going.

When the rest of the pogues came, we all went to sit at the pool. They all swam, and I sat with my feet in the water, enjoying the sun. JJ got out and came to sit with me. "What's on your mind cupcake?" He asks, and I shake my head, looking down. "I think I made a mistake taking Rafe back," I say, and he looks at me in shock. "Why is he treating you badly?" He asks, angry, and I shake my head.

"No, but he is still seeing Sofia, I am such a fucking fool. He clearly just keeps me here to get me clean." I say running my hands through my hair. "How do you know?" He asks with a frown, and I sigh. "I saw his phone, and he went to her. That is where he went," I say feeling nauseous again. "What did the message say?" He asks, rubbing my back, clearly seeing how white I have become. I took a deep breath and then jumped up. "I will be right back," I say, covering my mouth with my hand and running to the bathroom downstairs.

I reached the toilet just in time, and this time, all the juice I had came out. I groan from my muscles being sore, and I sit up to catch my breath. I did not hear JJ enter and he handed me a wet cloth. "How many times a day does this happen?" JJ asks, sitting next to me as I lean my back against the wall. I turn my head to look at him, tears threatening to fall. "A few times, and then I fucking shake like this," I say wiping the tear that was running down my cheek.

He nods pulling me closer to him. "Lia, what did the message say that you saw?" He asks, and I sigh, leaning my head against his shoulder. "There were a few; some asked where he was, and others said she was waiting for him. The last one was her asking why he isn't at work and that she was hoping to have some office fun again." I say not even bothering to stop my tears.

JJ was quiet for a while. "I am going to kill him for real this time." He says, standing up. And I look up at him. "Don't bother J, I just need you to help me to get home. I cannot stay here anymore." I say, also standing up, and he nods. "I will help you, but I stay with you until you are better." He says, and I smile. "Okay," I say hugging him.

"Hey, where have you guys been?" Kie asks as we walk outside again. "Lia was not feeling well," JJ says, and she nods, looking worried. "I am going home, John B can JJ use the Twinkie to take me?" I ask pulling the hoodie tighter around myself, feeling my whole body shake. I see Sarah frown and then look confused at the others. "Why?" She asks

"Your brother has been lying to me the whole time, Sarah, and I really am not well enough to go down that hole again," I say, and she gets out of the pool. "About what has he been lying?" She asks, drying herself. "He is still fucking Sofia." JJ spat, and they all looked shocked. "What the fuck did you just say?" I turn my head to see Rafe standing at the door and I can see JJ tense up next to me.

"You heard me; I cannot believe you. You really are a worthless piece of shit." JJ spat, walking closer to Rafe, and I saw the anger in his eyes; he looked at me, his eyes softening a little. "Can we talk alone, please," Rafe asks, and I shake my head. "No, whatever you want to say you can say in front of them," I say. He nods, biting his lip, walking closer to me.

"I don't know what you think you know, JJ, but I am not fucking Sofia, and whoever told you that is fucking lying," he says to JJ, clenching his teeth. "I told JJ that because I saw your messages. And where did you go?" I ask shaking so much my legs almost gave in. I felt dizzy, and I knew I had to sit down; I tried controlling my breathing, but I was struggling to breathe.

All of a sudden, everything went black, and the last thing I remember was grabbing JJ's arm before I passed out. I woke up struggling to open my eyes. I felt someone holding my hand and I heard JJ and Rafe arguing. "Can you guys shut the fuck up? We need to get Lia to the hospital." I knew if we went to the hospital, they would call my parents, so I forced my eyes open. I see Sarah holding my hand. "No," I whisper, and they all look at me, relieved.

"Lia, baby are you okay," Rafe asks, walking to the other side of the bed, sitting next to me. I sat up a bit, and Sarah gave me a glass of water. I took a few sips and nodded. "I'm fine, it's not the first time I pass out," I say, and he looks shocked. "When have you passed out before?" He asks, stroking my hand. "When you were at work," I say. "Or fucking Sofia," JJ murmured under his breath and Rafe glared at him

"I told you it's not what it looks like, and why did you not tell me?" Rafe asks me, and I shrug. "I don't know, okay? Why did you not tell me you were still seeing Sofia?" I spat back, trying to stand up. "Lia, lay down you are not well," Pope says, and I frown. "No shit Pope, but do you know what will make me feel better?" I ask, finally standing up, and he shakes his head. "Some Molly," I say, and they all look at me in shock.

"No cupcake, not that. Maybe some food will make you feel better." JJ says, and I laugh. "Yeah, you're right if I can keep it in," I say, sitting down on the bed again. "Okay, you are all welcome again tomorrow, but Lia needs to rest, and we need to talk so you can all leave," Rafe says rather rudely, and I look at him. "I am going home, Rafe, JJ is going to take me home, and you can have Sofia over again; I really do not have the energy to listen to more of your lies. I am not doing this with you again, because look where it got me." I say swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat.

"No, you are not leaving," Rafe says, and JJ walks closer to me, helping me off the bed. "She wants to go home, man; I will take it from here," JJ says, and we start walking to the door. "NO!" Rafe shouts, and we all look at him, shocked. "Do you know why she wants to go home? It's because she has drugs there, she tried going home last night, tell him, Lia." Rafe says and I glare at him.

"Is that true cupcake?" He asks me, and I look down. JJ looks at me and shakes his head; I can see the disappointment in his eyes. "You know what then fuck all off you. You guys did not even realize I was at my lowest why would you care now, so please all of you get OUT!!" I shout pushing JJ away from me and walking out to the balcony.

I heard them talking, and then I heard the Twinkie drive off. I started crying feeling defeated and angry and hurt. Once again Rafe has managed to ruin my life.

Please tell me what you think. The story is almost coming to an end.