Love, Drugs and Destruction

35. Let me help you

I fell next to Rafe out of breath. "Fuck I missed your moans." He says, pulling me closer. I lay with my head on his chest, he was playing with my hair. "Did you mean it?" I ask, looking up, and he frowns. "Mean what?" He asks, and I sit up, pulling my legs to my chest, feeling very shy all of a sudden. "That you still love me," I say looking at him. He sat up, running his hands over my back, and I got goosebumps.

"I did every word, Lia." He says, and I nod, looking at my hands again. "Hey, come on, baby, I know you love me too. I want you back, and I want to help you." He said, and I don't know why, but I started crying. He pulls me so that I am sitting on his lap just sobbing. "It's okay baby, I've got you." He says, kissing my head over and over again.

When I finally cried out, I scooted off his lap, and he frowned. I pull my clothes on and he does the same. "It will never work with us," I say and he froze. "And why not?" He asked, confused, and I ran my fingers through my hair. "You have Sofia Rafe, and I cannot trust you," I say, and he nods, walking closer to me. "I am going to leave her and I will earn your trust." He says, pulling me closer again.

"I'm scared," I confess, looking at him, and he nods, biting his lip. "I know, but I will help you. I promise you, Lia, I am a better man, and I will treat you right this time." He says, and I look into his eyes and then pull away. "You first have to leave Sofia," I say, and he nods. "I am going to do it now. Will you come to spend the night with me?" He asks, and I nod.

"Okay then, I am going to go see her; I will come pick you up. Where will you be?" He asks, and I smile. "At home packing a bag." "Okay good." He says, giving me a kiss, and I smile. "Lia, we will talk about everything at home okay." He says, kissing my head, and I nod again. I love the way he called it home like it was my place as well. He moves to the door opening it. "O and baby, please don't use any more drugs today." He says, and I look down and nod.

It was the first time since I started using that I really felt ashamed, he made me feel ashamed. I took a deep breath and walked out of the room. I did not greet any of them and just texted Lucy that I was leaving. I drove home, and I knew I should not, but I was happy, happy that Rafe finally wanted me back. But I also couldn't help but worry if being with Rafe again would fuck me up more.

I walked into a room and packed a bag; I decided to leave the pills there and not take them with me. Just then I got a message, and I looked at my phone.

Rafe👿: Hey baby, I am on my way to come get you. It did not go well with Sofia, but we will talk about that later.

I smiled, and I felt those butterflies again. I hope I am not making a mistake. I grab my bag and walk into the kitchen, telling my parents I will be out. I walk outside just as he pulls up and I cannot help but smile.

"Hey," I say, getting in, and he grabs the back of my head, kissing me. "Hi," he says, out of breath, his forehead against mine. We drove to his house, and I was surprised, it was beautiful. "Wow, nice house," I say, and he smiles. "Thanks worked my ass off to get it." He says, and I laugh.

He opens the door for me, and I step into the house. It was beautiful and it was so Rafe. The living room was huge and so was the kitchen. "Come, let's go put your bag away." He says, and I follow him up the stairs; I see 3 bedrooms, and he opens the 3rd one. "This is it." He says, and I smile. "I like it," I say, and he smiles. "Come look here." He says, walking to a sliding door, and he opens it. It was a huge deck that overlooks the ocean.

He had put chairs there, and I walked to the railing looking at the view. I see he has a dock and a swimming pool. "This is really nice," I say, and he comes to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "And it's all ours, baby." He says, kissing my neck, "We still have a lot to sort out," I say after turning around and putting my hands around his neck.

"I know, and the first thing I want to do is get you clean." He says, and I frown. "I don't want my parents to know," I say, looking down, and he lifts my chin with his finger. "They won't; you can hide here if the withdrawal hits." He says and I sigh.

"It's going to be bad isn't it?" I ask, and he nods. "Yes, I am not going to lie; it's the worst part, but I will be here every step of the way, but you must be willing to let it go." He says, and I nod, biting my lip, putting some distance between us, and go to sit on one of the sofas. "I don't want to feel like this anymore," I say, and he walks to me sitting next to me.

"Okay," I finally say, and he pulls me on his lap. "I am going to help you." He says, and I nod, putting my head on his shoulder. "How did it go with Sofia?" I ask and I can feel him tense up. "Not well; I hurt her; I know I did." He says with a sigh, and I nod, playing with the rings on his fingers.

"Am I worth it?" I suddenly ask, not looking at him, and he lifts my chin up to look me in the eyes. "You are more than worth it, baby; I love you, and after all this time, I still love you; I thought moving on would help me to stay away from you; I knew what I had done to you, Topper and Kelce kept me updated about you." He says, and I frown, "I knew you were using drugs and sleeping with fucking Zac, fuck that was the hardest to hear." He said, and again, I was embarrassed.

"And you were right; I am the one that this did to you, and I am so sorry; I should have never dragged you down like this." He rubbed my cheek, and I nodded, seeing he really meant it. "After you left, I first did not use anything, but one night at a party, I met Zac again, and I was down and missing you and hating you," I say with a small smile; Rafe rubs my arm, not saying anything, waiting to talk.

"He offered me some Molly just like when I first met him, and I don't know, we started fucking that evening, and it was my way of an escape, the drugs," I say, taking a deep breath, and he nods. "And Zac, why did start sleeping with him?" He asks, and I shake my head, looking down at our hands again. "I don't know. He made me feel something again, and at the time, I felt nothing," I say

He frowns but doesn't say anything. "And now, do you feel anything?" He asks and I frown. I sigh sitting up. "I don't know. I do know I love you, and I am hungry." I pout, and he laughs. I lean in and kiss him. God I have missed his kisses. "Come, let's go get something to eat." He says, lifting me up, and I follow him to the kitchen.

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