Love, Drugs and Destruction

19. I dont need your permission.

We drove to the beach, and I was already irritated seeing a bunch of kooks. "I thought it was just going to be us," I say turning to look at Rafe.  "We had our time yesterday, baby; now we are hanging with our friends." He says, and I frown. "Your friends," I mumble under my breath and I walk down the beach with Rafe. He greeted Topper and Kelch with a hug, and I gave them a small smile.

I took my clothes off, just my bikini, and took my board. Not saying anything to Rafe I walk to the water and paddle deeper in. I took a few waves and then just lay on my board. I watch the people on the beach. We had such a good day yesterday, and now that we are back with his friends, I can see he is different.

I lay with my eyes closed, just happy that the water had a calming effect on me. "Hey, you." I hear next to me and I open my eyes looking at John B and Pope. I smile sitting up. "Hi, guys." "How are you, Lia?" Pope asks, and I smile. "I am good, just missing you guys, not going to lie," I say, and they nod. "I see you are here with your whole kook posy." John B says

I roll my eyes. "They are not my posy; they are here with Rafe, and I came to surf," I say, and he laughs. "How's JJ?" I decided to ask and I did not miss the look they gave each other. "He is fine, Lia, Don't worry about him," Pope says, and I nod, playing with my fingers. "Let's surf." John B says, already paddling away. I giggle at them falling from the surfboard.

I took a few more waves with them, and for the first time in a long time, it felt good to have fun with my friends. I was tired and thirsty after falling off too much, and I told them I was going back to the beach, "Hey Lia." John B call and I turn around. "We are having a little party at my place. You should come." I frown biting my lip. "And what will Sarah and JJ say?" I ask, and he shakes his head. "You were our friend as well Lia, and me and Pope want you to come."

I look from Pope to John B, "Okay see you later then." I paddle back to the beach, seeing Rafe watching me, and he looks angry. I decided to ignore him, and I put my board down, grabbing my towel. "What did they want?" He asks, sipping his beer, and I roll my eyes, pulling my clothes back on. "Nothing, we just surfed," I say taking the beer from his hand and finishing it. He walks closer to me, pulling me to him.

"I have eyes. You guys were talking about something," he says, and I sigh. "They invited me to a party." I decided to be honest, and he shook his head. I walk to the cooler grabbing another beer. "There is no way you are going." He says, angry, and I glare back at him. "I did not ask you for your permission," I say, and he nods, rubbing his chin. I can see he is getting very pissed off.

"You told me yesterday that you want to focus on us, you are done with them." He spat, and I nodded. "I know, but I was talking about JJ, not the rest of my friends." He nods grabbing a beer. "He will be there." He says, and I just nod, looking at my hands. "We hang out with your friends all the time, Rafe; why can't I go hang out with mine?" I ask, and before I know what is happening, he grabs me by my arm, pulling me away from the others.

"Let go, you are hurting me," I say, pulling my arm from his grasp. He pushed me against his truck, grabbing my throat; this time, he was squeezing me hard. I grab his arm, digging my nails into it, hoping he will let me go. "You just don't listen, do you? You like to fucking push me over the edge." He spat, and I looked into his eyes. There was nothing; his eyes were red, and I could see he was high.

"Please let go of me," I beg, tears are now running down my face. He stares at me, and I can feel his fingers digging into my flesh. He finally released me, and I bent over, trying to catch my breath. He bent down so that he was at eye level with me. "Do what you fucking want, I am done with this." He says, pointing between us. "Rafe," I shout as he walks away, but he just keeps walking. I sink down, trying to figure out what just happened.

I stood up after a while, and I walked back to the beach; how am I going to get home? I gather my things, seeing Rafe glaring at me, and I walk back to the parking lot. I see John B and Pope getting in the Twinkie and I walk to them. "Can I maybe catch a ride?" I ask, trying to sound calm, but deep down, I just want to cry. "Sure let me put your surfboard on the roof." John B says after giving Pope a look.

I got in sitting at the back. I rub my arm, which has bruises on it already; I wipe the tears that escape my eyes, not talking to them. "Lia, are you okay?" Pope asks, and I look up, seeing him looking at me and John B. looking through the mirror at me. "I am fine," I lie. "Did Rafe do that?" He asks, pointing at my neck. I just nod, not knowing what to say.

It was quiet between us, and I was so deep in thought I did not see we were driving to the cut. "John B, why did you bring me here?" I ask, seeing the Chateau in front of me. "We are not leaving you alone we can see something is up." He says; I bite my lip. "Is JJ here?" I ask, really nervous, and he nods. "He is going to be mad," I say, and John B shrugs. "I don't care, it's my house, now come." He says, and I climb out.

I trail behind them my stomach is in knots. The last time I saw JJ he told me to fuck off, not to mention Sarah. JJ, Sarah, and Kie were sitting on the couches outside. "Hey man, how were the waves?" JJ asks. "Good, you missed out." He says, and JJ groans. "Yeah, this fucking ribs of mine." John B. moves to Sarah, and they all look at me. I gave them all a nervous smile.

I watch JJ as his eyes turn from happy to confused to angry; he looks at my neck and then my arm. "Hi, guys," I say, standing at the door nervous. "Come sit Lia," Pope says, pulling me to a couch close to JJ. "Why are you here, why is she here?" JJ asks, turning to John B. "She needed us, JJ, and I invited her to the party." He glared at me and stood up; without saying anything, he walked to the docks. "Give him some time; he will cool down," Kie says, taking my hand.

I gave her a small smile; well, she was not this happy to see me in the hospital. "Did Rafe do that to you?"Sarah asks for the first time, and I look down. "It's fine, I'm fine," I say and at this point, I do not know if I am saying it to convince them or myself.

I could feel all their eyes on me, and I stood up. "I am going to try and talk to JJ again," I say, walking away from them; I know they are pitying me and that they think I am a fool. But even with all Rafe has done, I just can't get him out of my head, and I still believe I can change him.