Love, Drugs and Destruction

23. Its been too long.

"Come on cupcake," JJ whispers in my ear, and I roll my eyes. "No, J, we said we won't do that again; you know I am not over..." before I could finish. JJ sits up, running his hands through his hair. "It's been almost a year, Lia; you should be over him already; he has disappeared, and still you have feelings." He says, and I sigh.

It was almost a year since I saw Rafe. Sarah told me he went to rehab and is doing good for himself; he is helping his dad in business, so he is mostly on the mainland. I still get messages from him every day. A good morning and a good night. I never replied because I could not move on.

It was a few months after Rafe left that JJ  and I hooked up in a drunken state. I told him it could not happen again because I knew he had feelings, and I didn't. Don't get me wrong, I love JJ, just not like I liked Rafe. "Come on, the others are waiting for us," I say, standing up and pulling my dress down.

He sighs, standing up. We were at a bonfire, and we snuck off to smoke a joint and just have a talk, but JJ saw it as a hookup. I walked to the drinks table and took a few shots; I took a beer walking to where Sarah and John B stood. "Hey," I greet, and I see the worry in Sarah's eyes. "What's wrong?" I ask, and she pulls me away.

"Okay, don't freak out, but Rafe is here." She said, and I looked at her in shock; I had to pretend that it did not bother me. "Okay and?" I asked, finishing my beer. "Lia, there is something I did not tell you." She says, and I nod, urging her to tell me. "He is seeing someone and she is also here." She said, and it felt like all the air left my lungs. "Do we know who she is?" I ask trying to keep calm 

She nods, seeing how I struggle to breathe. "She is a pogue; Sofia, I think, is her name." She say it felt like someone pulled the earth from my feet. I ran my hands through my hair nodding. "Okay, um, okay, it's fine. I will just go home before I see him," I say, panicking, and she takes me by my arms. "No, listen to me, Lia, he is back in outer banks; you will eventually run into him, so why not get it over with?" she says.

"Okay, but I need a drink," I said, walking away from her and taking another few shots. I can feel I am getting tipsy and I took another beer to drink. He is back, and he has a girlfriend, and here I was moping around, not even looking at a guy twice because I was waiting for him. I am such a fucking idiot. I thought to myself. I walked to the bonfire where JJ, Kie, and Pope were sitting, and I went and sat next to them.

"Hey Lia did you hear Rafe is back?" Kie asks, and I nod. "Yeah, and he has a girlfriend," I say, looking at the flames and drinking my beer. "It's okay, cupcake, you have me," JJ whispers, and I smile, looking at him. "Your right fuck Rafe," I say, kissing his cheek, and he pulls me closer.

Sarah and John B. came and sat with us, and we were just laughing and joking around. JJ's arm is still around me. "Sarah, hey," I hear him before I see him, and my first reaction is to run, but I stiff and look up. His eyes were already on me, and I looked down. "Rafe, what did you want?" Sarah asks, taking him out of his trance. "Um, I can't remember it's fine." He says

He looks at me again, and then it looks like he wants to walk away. "Amelia hi, can we talk real quick." He asks me, and I look at him. Fuck, his hair was cut off, and he looked more like a man; he has grown up. I look at the others and then back at him. "Fine," I say, standing up and walking away from the others, not waiting to see if he follows me.

I stood at the edge of the beach, the water running over my feet. I took a deep breath to calm my nervousness. He came to stand next to me, his hands in his pockets. "How are you?" He asks, and I turn to him, crossing my arms. "What do you want Rafe?" I ask, angry now, angry because he gave me so much shit being friends with the pogues, yet he is dating one, angry because he made me be at my lowest when we were together, and I am angry and hurt because I waited for him and he decided to move on.

"I just want to say sorry." He says, and I nod. "Okay," I say, starting to walk away when he grabs my arm gently, not how he always did. "No, Lia, wait, please." He said, and I got flashbacks to when he begged me not to leave him. I shake my head to get the image of him then out of my mind. "Look before you hear it from someone else. I want to tell you." He says, and I sigh. "I know, Rafe; you are seeing someone, and a pogue nonetheless makes you a little bit of a hypocrite for giving me so much shit for being friends with them."

He looks at me in shock and nods his head. "I know, and I have changed; I am more mature now." He says, and I nod. "Well, good for you, Rafe," I say, walking away, trying to stop the tears from falling from my eyes. How could he stand there and not feel anything? Did I mean so little to him? "Hey Lia you okay?" JJ asks, and I nod. "Yeah, I am going home; I am feeling tired," I say.

"I will come with you." He says, already standing up, but I stop him shaking my head. "Not tonight, J. I am tired, and I just want to be alone." I see the hurt flash through his eyes and I ignore it." I will see you guys tomorrow okay." I say and they nod. "Don't forget, I am racing tomorrow," JJ says, and I smile. "I will be there." I kiss him on his cheek walking to my car.

I walked to my car and got in, sitting with my head in my hands. I took a few breaths and then drove to the cut, not my house. I park in front of the house. I know so well by now, and I know I said it would be the last, but tonight I need it. I got out trying to avoid all the creepy guys in front of the house. Barry was sitting on the couch smoking some weed.

"Hey princess, I thought I would not see you again." He said and I gave him my sweet smile. "I missed you too much, Barry," I say, and he laughs. "Yeah right, so what will it be?" He asks, and I smile. "Some Molly, please, make it 6," I say, and he nods, walking into the house, and I follow him. "I heard country club is back in town; I have  not seen him yet because I hear he is clean." He says, and I just nod.

"Ironic, isn't it? He gets clean and you get hooked." He says, and I smile, taking the pills and giving him the money. "I am not hooked, okay? I can stop any time," I say, and he laughs again. "Keep telling yourself that princess." He says, and I turn around, walking out the door. I took my phone from my back pocket phoning the one person I know will make me forget.

"Hey, can I come over? I got party favors?" I say getting in the car. "Sure you know you can, see you in a few." He says, hanging up, and I sigh, driving away from the cut.

Who do you think Lia is going to see? And what happened to our girl since Rafe left? Please vote and comment