Darkness Retribution

The Reckless Ding Dong

It was late at night, and the house was peaceful for once. The moon cast a pale light over the walls, the only sound being the distant rustling of leaves outside. Everyone had retreated to their rooms, finally enjoying a well-deserved rest after the chaotic events of the past few days.

Except for Emo Jesus.

He sat on the living room couch, staring out of the window into the moonlit yard. The glow from the TV screen flickered across his face as he absentmindedly scrolled through channels, unable to settle on anything. He sighed heavily, as if the weight of the world's sadness was resting on his shoulders. His brooding thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a sound—a doorbell.

Ding dong.

His eyes narrowed as he glanced toward the front door. "Who in their right mind is ringing the bell at this hour?" he muttered to himself, standing up slowly.

He made his way to the door, each step cautious, as if expecting something sinister. But when he opened the door, no one was there. He stuck his head out, looking left and right, only to be met with the empty street and the cool night air.

"That's odd," he whispered, closing the door.

Emo Jesus turned around, ready to return to the couch, but something felt off. He scanned the room, and his gaze landed on the dining area. A moment of confusion crossed his face.

"Wait... wasn't there a chair there?"

One of the dining room chairs had mysteriously disappeared.

Shrugging it off, he sat back down, convincing himself that he must have imagined it. He resumed flipping through the channels, but just a few minutes later, the doorbell rang again.

Ding dong.

He froze. "Okay, now this is just ridiculous."

Determined to catch the prankster, Emo Jesus stormed to the door, yanked it open, but again, no one was there. He stepped outside, looking around suspiciously, but the night was still. When he stepped back inside, his eyes darted to the dining room again.

"Seriously? Another chair?"

Sure enough, another chair had vanished. Now only two were left. "Who's messing with the furniture?" Emo Jesus grumbled.

He sighed deeply, rubbing his temples, and called out, "Guys! There's something seriously weird going on down here!"

Moments later, the rest of the crew groggily made their way downstairs—Felix, you, Neuvillette, Freddy, Duolingo, Daddy Hello Kitty Batman, and Toe Pedeos, all blinking sleep from their eyes.

"What's going on?" Felix asked, looking around in confusion.

"The doorbell keeps ringing, and every time I answer it, a chair goes missing," Emo Jesus explained, clearly annoyed. "Two chairs are already gone!"

Neuvillette crossed his arms, skeptical. "You're telling me that someone is ringing the doorbell... and stealing chairs? At night?"

Freddy looked over at the dining table, where only two chairs remained. "That's... bizarre. But also kind of hilarious."

Daddy Hello Kitty Batman scratched his head. "Wait, are we sure the chairs didn't just, like, walk away or something? I've seen weirder things lately."

Ding dong.

Everyone froze. The sound of the doorbell rang again, echoing through the house. Felix and you exchanged a look.

"I guess we check again," Felix said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

This time, the group slowly approached the door, with Neuvillette leading the charge. He opened it with precision, ready to confront the mystery culprit. But, just like before, there was nothing. The night was silent.

"Okay, what gives?" Duolingo said, frowning.

You glanced back toward the dining room. "Umm... guys? We're down to one chair."

The final chair had vanished.

Neuvillette sighed deeply, clearly unimpressed with the absurdity of the situation. "Whoever is behind this has a very strange sense of humor. But I will not stand for this chair theft."

Freddy grinned. "Looks like someone's got a furniture fetish."

Duolingo chimed in, "Maybe they're just really into interior design?"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang one more time. This time, though, there was no hesitation. Neuvillette flung the door open with determination, and to everyone's surprise, standing there was a strange figure.

It was Ding Dong—an odd little man with a wide grin and a strange, twitchy demeanor, holding a chair over his head like a trophy.

"Ding Dong!" he announced proudly, as if his name explained everything.

"Who the heck are you?" Felix asked, bewildered.

"Ding Dong," he repeated, dropping the chair in the front yard. And without another word, he vanished into the night, leaving the door wide open and the entire team standing in stunned silence.

"...Did that guy just steal our chairs and bring one back?" Freddy asked, looking completely baffled.

Emo Jesus sighed deeply, shaking his head. "Of course. I'm not even surprised anymore."

The group stood in awkward silence for a moment before Duolingo cleared his throat. "Well, at least we know who's been ringing the doorbell."

"Yeah, but why does he want our chairs?" you asked, genuinely curious.

Daddy Hello Kitty Batman shrugged. "Maybe he's building a really weird collection. Who knows?"

Neuvillette, who had been standing stiffly, rubbed his temples in frustration. "I have absolutely no words for this situation. None."

Felix laughed, squeezing your hand. "Well, at least it's a good story to tell. 'Remember that time a guy named Ding Dong stole all our chairs?'"

You couldn't help but laugh too, the ridiculousness of it all sinking in. The group slowly started to disperse, heading back to bed, while you and Felix lingered for a moment longer.

"That was... strange," you said, leaning against Felix.

"Yeah, but I guess that's kind of normal for us now, huh?" he replied, grinning.

As you both headed back to bed, Emo Jesus sat back down on the couch, turning the TV off with a sigh. He glanced over at the empty space where the chairs had once been, shaking his head with a faint smile.

"Only in this house," he muttered.